Lifted from Guson: I get the feeling that all asian households are universally extremely cold. I think it's because they want to save on utilities...

azule 3177: asian households
azule 3177: are so fucking cold

bsra n c h o: dude you are so right
bsra n c h o: I have to wear a jacket around the house

JouLe Zoo: omg, my house is so cold

TwoSidedMobius: fuck yeah
TwoSidedMobius: my house is freezing

Mikedsego: my house is so warm and toasty. i love it!
(he's white)

Somebody is playing a cruel joke on Myung:

j m 2 c a l: the garage was closed dude
j m 2 c a l: i came home and it was opened
j m 2 c a l: and torn apart
car LOCO 69: that's like
car LOCO 69: the first scene to 'scream' or something
j m 2 c a l: yah man
j m 2 c a l: serious ... it feels like someone is playing a joke on me
j m 2 c a l: it's that weird
car LOCO 69: when you came home did you go all jack bauer into your house
car LOCO 69: looking both ways backing up the stairwell
j m 2 c a l: naw man .... i went nutcracker
j m 2 c a l: i pranced in

It's been a long day and I'm tired. A lot of you have no idea what's going on, but when you find out, you guys will all be asking me a series of questions. Let me answer most of them now.

What happened?
Come see me for a drink. I'll tell you then.

How does this keep happening to you and why do you keep doing this to yourself?
I'm sorry. I don't really know. I might have some sort of innate pathological self-destructive tendency that I'm unable to rid myself of - I guess some people thought I had changed, but maybe it's time to fucking face reality and admit to myself that this time, it's time to take it like a man and accept today for what it is. Maybe my confidence has been based on some massive delusion; maybe it's just been me living in some existential dream, trying to dissipate reality into self-catered fiction. Sometimes you have to look into yourself realistically without the sugar fucking coating that the people you love sprinkle on you all the time - how many people will you have to let down to realize that you're just a bad person?

I apologize, I really do. I'm sorry for letting the few of you down who believed in me and had hope in me, and I wish to God I could change. But maybe it's time that those of you who have some sort of misguided faith in my "potential" (or whatever that means) or talent to just give up. Sorry.

Dude, it's not your fault. This is just so fucked up.
No. It IS my fault. And in retrospect, it's sort of an artificial utopian optimism to believe that I just get fucked over all the time. My resume reads like a sociopathic rebel incapable of controlling his own actions. Those who love me feel I'm misunderstood; those who hate me think I am a cocky son of a bitch who believes he is above the law; those who know me think that what comes easy to me is dangerous; and those who don't know me would rather keep it that way.

I've been kicked out of so many institutions by now I can barely keep track of them all. "You ever think there comes a point where you gotta stop living up there, and start living down here?"

What are you going to do now?
I don't know yet.

You have so many people who believe in you and you always let them down. Don't you think that's selfish? How can you just keep doing that?
Like I said before, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Maybe you guys should stop wasting time "believing" in me. You'll get better results that way. Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful to all of you, and I'd be a wreck without you guys. But it's time for me to stop living in a fucking fairy tale.

Dude, don't say that. It's not true.
Don't fuck with me. I know it's true. You're a better friend to me if you just spit it in my fucking face. Seriously.

I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
Don't trip. Life goes on, homes. Life goes on. I'll be fine - I promise you.

Here's the competition results so far:

Rubenstein Competition...............NO
Van Cliburn Competition..............YES (ny audition in feb.)
Beethoven Competition................YES (ny audition in feb.)
Hilton Head Competition..............NO (alternate, hoping for someone to get sick)
Corpus Christi Competition..........YES (in feb.)
Santander Competition.................still pending

next up: washington international and cleveland

Good motherly advice from my mother:

charcoalj: u can screw women without giving a fuck
charcoalj: women get attach when they screw
charcoalj: and they wont even screw you unless they are emotionally attached
car LOCO 69: you should relax
charcoalj: ok
charcoalj: but do not screw them
charcoalj: dont fuck them
charcoalj: go out with them- but dont get them emotionally involved with u
charcoalj: and dont have sex with them
charcoalj: once u get sexually involve with a girl-they think it is real
charcoalj: well if u fuck them-u r giving them something to hold on to
charcoalj: and dont under estimate the power of messed up girls
charcoalj: u can get them pregnant
car LOCO 69: jesus christ, relax
car LOCO 69: i don't wanna talk about this anymore
charcoalj: u r 23 but u r always my son

The most abominably unfair difference between the life of a musician and the normal (non-musician) is that for the rest of our lives, we will never have a vacation longer than two weeks. And for some fucked up strange reason, that doesn't really matter to us, usually because we fill ourselves with contorted self-justifications that more-or-less boil down to something relating to 'emotional enjoyment' or some other bullshit.

But yes, it's true. Musicians a) never retire. We work until the day we die; teaching, playing, etc. b) can't bear the thought of more than two weeks from our instruments.Even if we deny it.

A lot of you musicians are sitting there going "not really. Just last month I went a whole two weeks without practicing." Probably. But did not you just not play? More than likely you read through some chamber music with friends, fiddled around with some scales and then got bored, attended some brainless mandatory orchestra rehearsal, whored yourself to some useless gig that gave you rent money, taught some ineptly retarded secondary-student, or participated in some form of the like.

Seriously try and remember the last time you went a full 14 days without touching your instrument completely. You were probably 15 years old, maybe younger. And if you have gone 14 days in the recent past, you probably have some wild story you brag about to your friends about how you once went that long without doing it and then you came back, and your hands felt like jello. "It was great, such a relief" you tell your friends. But you're not really fooling anybody. Deep down inside, you felt like shit and you thought your technique was going to hell. .....then again, you could just be a brass player.

But face the facts. We musicians will never have a vacation. It's not possible. The rest of our lives are chained to our instruments, whether you like it or not.

"When I go one day without practicing, I know. When I go two days, my teacher knows. When I go three days, the audience knows."

-Arthur Rubenstein

....let music be your salvation

The last seven days for me have been emotionally taxing. Many of you have complained that my blog, whilst succeeding in being somewhat entertaining, is generally impersonal and cold. Sorry, it wasn't originally meant to be a diary.

Generally, I try to be a good person. Lately, I feel like I'm Myungizing myself. For those of you not familiar with the verb, I just made it up - and you have to know Myung. Let me retell just the short story of a dude named Myung.

Myung fell in love with a girl long time ago, and he was badly burned. The scars stayed for a long time and afterwards, it was very difficult for him to open up or show any weakness, partly in fear of getting burned again, partly because he had been burned so bad. As a result, he began burning other chicks. It was a defense mechanism.

I, on the other hand, have been in a series of long-term relationships that, as Stanley says, "makes me exhausted just fucking thinking about you." I have burned, and I have also been burned. This week is a reality check.

I am changing as a man. I try to be a good person, I really do. But I can't afford to burn anymore - I don't have the time and I definitely don't have the energy. So as of right now, I am an asshole. I rarely write personal shit in this blog, but this will be an exception, and I'm only writing it as a warning. I am now an asshole. I don't have the time and I don't have the energy to deal with emotion. I have hours of work to finish, and I'm approaching the single craziest semester I will ever have in my entire life. Apart from my close friends, and at that only the platonic ones, I do not care for you. I have no interest in anything else, I have no interest in anybody else. So if you're not on my speed-dial, fuck off.

"Love is impossible. If it was possible, it wouldn't be love."

-Ned Rorem

"When God shuts a door, somewhere he opens a window."

"I'm supposed to hand my absentee ballot in today. I'm going for Kerry, man. I got a chance to watch one of the debates and a piece of another one. He was making Bush look stupid, but anybody can make Bush look stupid. I'm not 100 million percent on Kerry. I don't agree with everything he says, but I hope he's true to his word, especially about his plan to pull the troops out. People think their votes don't count, but people need to get out and vote. Every motherfuckin' vote counts."

"Bin Laden attacked us and we attacked Saddam. We ain't heard from Saddam for ten years, but we go attack Saddam. Explain why that is. Give us some fucking answers."

-Eminem

It's too late, homie. It's too late.

We're entering a new age of technological communication:

naryantek: alright dude
naryantek: i gotta bounce
car LOCO 69: a'ight man
naryantek: im actually in lecture right now
car LOCO 69: oh hahahha
naryantek: profs are givin me the eye
car LOCO 69: wireless?
naryantek: yeah
car LOCO 69: go

From Stan, my fellow masculist in crime. We are going to start far-reaching movement. Who wants to join us?

" girls spend their entire lives chasing after some mythically non-existent knight in shining armor, and then when they get the frog they wonder why. screw the guys out there that actually do that suave knight in armor shit. you guys are making me look bad and screwing up my game. stop perpetuating their fantasies you sellouts. i also believe most girls just settle for any old guy in the end anyway because they are getting close to 30 and desperate. fuck this double standard shit. for the girls that think they are some kind of princess, best drop out of that fairy tale before you end up like those four pathetic has-beens on sex & the city. for further reference, please see entry 11/9/04 on carlos' blog (http://carloco69.blogspot.com).

this entry is going to get me in so much trouble."

I've decided to become a masculist. Yes, that's right. The antithetical equivalent of a feminist.

Feminism is fundamentally rooted in some higher-based liberalesque hypocrisy that functions on its ignorant support the way a toilet might to an alcoholic who uses it to vomit. It's there, but it's full of shit. Perhaps feminism might have meant something significant at its initial conception, but the evolution of it has convoluted any contemporary meaning of the concept past that. Consider some modern feminist catch phrases:

"Get a man with a good car, girl." "Get a man who can pay your bills, girl." "If he don't suit you, drop that man like a bad habit, girl."

Fuck that shit. It's time for the era of man once again. Man has fallen so overly-sympathetic of female abuse that he hasn't even realized that he's being fucking used. When a girl fucks a guy over, it's ok, for some stupid ass reason. Well that day is fucking over.

The next girl who ends up liking me, I will fucking lead her on, use her, and then drop her like a fat shit after a big meal.

"Oh my gosh, Carlos, you are so mean! This is totally not like you." I can hear it already.

Fuck you, bitch. I've paid my dues. Tell it to the shrink.

Seen on Craig's List:

Straight male seeks Bush supporter for fair, physical fight - m4m

---

Reply to: anon-47785163@craigslist.org
Date: Wed Nov 03 19:11:50 2004


I would like to fight a Bush supporter to vent my anger. If you are one, have a fiery streek, please contact me so we can meet and physically fight. I would like to beat the shit out of you.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Life is complicated. Morality is inflexible to a tempting extent. Music is difficult. Girls are impossible.

Taken from Stanley's blog. Sorry man, I had to rip it. Please read it, I know it's long.

"tomorrow is an important day. if you dont think so, please take a minute to read this. its from my good friend david. its time to wake up ppl.

[start transmission]
Let me start off first by saying that yes, this is a massmail. Let me say next that I am really, really sorry I have to dothis. Anyone who knows me knows I fucking hate mass emails telling meabout some quadriplegic African kid who has tuberculosis, dysentery,whooping cough, HIV, Ebola, one arm, and one leg, and that somehow ifI forward this email to five hundred of my friends I will miraculouslycure him of all his diseases and regenerate all of his limbs. This isnot one of those emails. I am not here to bullshit you with your timeor mine. Even though I haven't addressed this letter to each of youpersonally, I assure you the content of it is very personal to me.

I've come to accept most people don't give a flying fuckabout politics. There is widespread ignorance among our generationwhere if the subject matter isn't money, cars, clothes and pussy (ordicks) then nothing outside of this pathetically shortsighted view oflife can affect their distorted perception of reality. If you fallinto this category, this ends here, have a nice day, and sad to say,I'm sorry I know you. If you don't, if some, any part of you,regardless how small does actually realize there exists a worldoutside of the cushy suburban bubble we live in and there aredecisions we make in life beyond which club to go to next, then pleaseread on.

I am loathe evangelizing my political orientation to others,and I will not shit you, this is precisely what I am doing. If youfind it pretentious and arrogant of me to do so, you have my deepestapologies. But this election is far too important to just stand on thesidelines with my dick flapping in the wind. Most of you know I amgoing to vote for Kerry. That's no big surprise. Contrary to how theRepublicans want to portray him, he is a strong candidate, with solidbeliefs and a strong understanding of the issues at hand (if anyonewatched or heard the debates you would know this already). Do I thinkhe's FDR? No. But he has what it takes.

Which is what Bush never had, or ever will have. This is apresident that should have never been. Remember he LOST the '00election. But between his brother's state, his dad's supreme court,and some outright racist Republican voter suppression tactics againstminorities in Florida, he somehow managed to steal the presidency.Bush came into our rooms, fucked us in the ass in front of the rest ofthe nation, and got off because his brother was the judge, his dadappointed the jury, and no one believed the witnesses because theywere black. Not to mention the minor detail he used to be a fuckingcoke head. And while I'm not one to say someone can't be rehabilitatedof their addictions, please tell me you agree the leader of thefree-fucking-world should be held to a higher standard than theaverage Joe. I have no doubt he wakes up everyday grinning ear to earthinking about how he blew his load all over us, right before hesnorts his line of coke.

But what about now? Now Bush sits on a record deficit, a netloss in jobs, and tax benefits to corporations to outsource. Oursoldiers fight an illegitimate war in Iraq because Bush initiated itfor illegitimate reasons. I pay 40 bucks for a tank of gas becauseBush, Halliburton, and Saudi Arabia are in a perpetual circle jerk. Wehave a pitiful health care system with millions of uninsured Americansyet Bush tells me it's reformed. Bush rolls back environmentalstandards, pulls from the Kyoto treaty, and does not believe thegreenhouse effect is "sound science" but he swears he's Smokey theBear. He's raped the integrity of our Constitution with the PatriotAct denying our own citizens due process and due representation.Gestapo anyone? John Ashcroft. Adolf Eichmann. Abortion. Women's rightto choose. Gay marriage. Civil rights. Alzheimer's. Stem cellresearch. Genocide. Sudan. Weapons of mass destruction. Weapons ofmass disappearance. Vietnam. Iraq.

Tell me you think this is the right direction our countryshould be going, and I will not watch any porn for an entire year forserious.

Tell me none of this can or will affect you in anywaywhatsoever, and I will eat fish, eyeballs skin and all, for real.

Tell me in good faith four more years of Bush is good foryou and America, and I will crip walk down Crenshaw in my all bluechucks for true.

Politics is war without guns. And we are at war. Lines havebeen drawn and sides have been chosen. Now I ask you not to justchoose a side, but to represent it as well. Vote. Do not take thisright for granted. Ever. This is the fundamental right by which alldemocracies are based, and one millions have slaved, suffered, andshed blood for. The right and ability to choose our leaders. Failureto recognize this fact is a failure to honor those who made itpossible for us to exercise this right. Especially so since most ofyou reading this are a minority. If you've never voted before, I canpromise once you do, you will never not vote again.

I fully understand many people think because we live inCalifornia, a heavily democratic state, that voting is pointlessbecause we'll win the state anyway. We will win this state. That muchis true. But that is not an excuse not to vote, not to be heard. It'snot a matter of whether we yell; it's a matter of how loud we yell.And I'm going into this screaming my head off until my ears bleed outand my eyes explode.And I'm hoping you will do the same.

Peace.

David"

Poor Stanley. At this very moment, he is paying a mandatory visit to jail somewhere along the San Diego and Mexican border. Don't trip, homie! I hope you brought a sweater. You'll be out of there in a few hours.

heh.

Things I would do if it would ensure a democratic victory on Tuesday (and I'm not joking):

I would, unhesitantly and immediately, give up my spot at Yale University.

I would go without sex for 4 years. (This one appears to be an inevitability regardless)

I would donate my car to charity.

I would uninstall and never again use AIM.

I would become a vegetarian.

I would donate all the money I currently own to charity (OK, so that isn't much)

Things I would not do even if it would ensure a democratic victory:

I would not give up music.

This election, besides being one of the most divisive in history, will probably decide the fate of our country. If that sounds too harsh are dramatic, you probably haven't been paying attention.
Though the extent of things I would give up may sound humorous, or even ridiculous, please believe me when I say I would. I am not joking.

"And on top of that, you want to take me to prison/
just cuz I won't trade humanity for patriotism."
-Immortal Technique, "The 4th Branch"

Random thoughts.

The pathetic immutability of the piano-level at Yale is getting more and more depressing. What is going on?

The gym is truly a haven for an undeniably static series of mental cases: a) the anorexically-inclined 90-pound female, perpetually stranded on a treadmill, waiting for her ribcage to accentuate her imaginated beauty. The kind of chick you would date for the sole purpose of forcing a 16-oz steak down her throat. b) the isotonic obsessive madman. definition means nothing, and roaring like a manly lion while dropping all your weights to the ground is a definitive public measurement of what's down there. c) the janet jackson idolizing ab-fanatics. she spends 45 minutes on a mat, crunching like a broken rocking chair. the gym is truly a place for the psychotic.

On a serious and unrelated note, many of you know that I have not been doing so well since the semester has started. Hopefully, this is changing for the better. I have since undergone a complex inauguration into an elite family consisting of three older female brothers, a bulgarian boyfriend with c-cup pecs, and a romanian roommate with whom i can commute telepathically as a result of our siamese-esque twinship.

Being single is definitely not what it was built up to be, though I think I am quickly adapting. All asian girls in school are either a) incapable of using vocabulary past high-pitched words like 'unyee', b) taken by white guys, c) ugly, d) all of the above. For those of you that believe Berkeley goggles were the thickest of them all, please.....come to New Haven. You'll be like Ray Charles by the end of the month.

I am tired. This blog entry is incomprehensible, but I haven't written in awhile.

Currently: trying to get my life back on track.

Granted, it was bound to happen at any moment, I still find myself in a state of shock at Lillian Kallir's death.

The older generation is quietly disappearing, leaving the new-age music world with this sanitarily cold and unfeeling athletic world of pianism. If the rule remains true regarding the disappearence of the will to live after a spouse dies, the world will soon lose the greatest musician of the 20th century.

Life goes on, albeit not in the same way.

Still living in last semester. But empty.

I haven't been hit as hard by a movie in a long time as I was tonight.

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd." -- Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"

Friendster breakdown by race:

142 Total Friends.
123 Asians or Asian-Americans.

I'm making good progress.

Love is a many splendored thing. Love lifts us up on wings. All you need is love.

And a King Cobra 40 to drown the existence of the past and to fade the memories into oblivion. Mementos can be forced into obscurity - the non-existence of regret because there is nothing there to regret. Eternal darkness of the empty mind.

What was I talking about again?

"Music and women I cannot but give way to, whatever my business is."

-Samuel Pepys, English poet

From a movie only I and Roger Ebert liked. I'm convinced the rest of you have bad taste:

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

This is the single best Friendster "About Me" quote I've seen, written by Michelle, one of the most caring and intelligent girls I've ever known:

"Music over silence, prose over poetry, comedy over tragedy, underground over mainstream, tea over coffee, used books over new, recycling over trash, credo over indecision, special dark over milk chocolate, sushi over carpaccio, orange over blue, sneakers over heels, fiddle over violin, jazz over pop, sailing over yachting, Bartley's over In-N-Out, City Lights over the Harvard Bookstore, The NY Post over The Onion, The C-Note over The Blue Note, Rubber Soul over The White Album, the Whitney over the Gugg, Jerry Rice over Steve Young, Ireland over England, Taiwan over China, Heifetz over Stern, Lewis over Freud, national healthcare over the crap we have now, Candlestick over 3-Com, Red Sox over Yankees, Zelda over Mario Bros, Till Eulenspiegel over Zarathustra, Braeburns over Fujis, smiling over laughing, dancing over drinking, writing over reading, #16 over #9, Simpsons over Friends, and Calvin & Hobbes over Charlie Brown & Snoopy." - Michelle Yu

Wait long enough and things get better. After 2 weeks of the worst living conditions of my life, I have been thrown into the best, even compared to Japan. Bolzano seems to be a culturally ambiguous enigma, constantly trying to decide whether it is German or Italian; the language constantly shifts, and all the street signs are written in both. The hotel is amazing, and the town is beautiful - a bustling Italian cafe-filled haven where outdoor seating is the norm, and live music is a given. How this competition has enough money to let us order freely from the most expensive restaurants, I will never know. Here is hoping that I wont get that yellow slip of paper under my door telling me I have to leave so soon.

I cannot write use any conjugated verbs because for the life of me, I cannot figure out where the apostrophe is on this fucking German keyboard. Anyway.

I am on my way to Bolzano in a few hours, after having been stuffed with ample marzipan to last me a few lifetimes. I will be there for the next week and a half or so. If you need to reach me, email me.

Only cultural fact about Germany even worth mentioning (I hate this country). All that public bathrooms in Lubeck have ashtrays right next to the toilets and they are all clean.

For a lot of people, the media can seem like an ignorant method of culture osmosis. But after watching City of God combined with what happened to my cousin Ella this weekend, I am forever convinced otherwise.

To whoever is up there, thank you for keeping her safe and thank you for letting her make it through that terrible night. Here is a synopsis.

Wednesday afternoon Ella and I came back from Caruarù to Recife because we needed to get some stuff there, arrange new meetings, and pick up my boyfriendthat was visiting us (he’s in our same master program). We were going to spendthe night in our usual hotel in Boa Viagem (that has been our base all thistime) and then we were supposed to go to Toritama, where we had scheduledalready a bunch of interviews for thursday and friday. But this neverhappened, because in the night between wednesday and thursday the bad thinghappened. Around 1-1:30am 3 people together with the receptionist came in ourroom with guns and asking us for everything we had. They first came in theroom where me and my boyfriend were, and then to Ella’s room. It was terrible:the door opened (they had another key) and we woke up under the threat of their! guns....I am still shaking. They told us to be quiet and we gave themeverything. They also spent more than half hour, I think, looking verycarefully in all our stuff, and they took a bunch of things (from the mostvaluable to the most weird you may think someone will take...). Then, theytied us up, hands and feet, with ropes and tape, and they told us that theywere going to do that in the rest of the hotel, so we needed to be quiet andwithout moving for some hours. Our room was the first one, then they went toElla—i still remember her screaming, i don’t think i will ever forget it. Theydid the same to her. And so to other 3 persons in the hotel. I was tied upfor 3 or 4 hours in total, i don’t know. A couple of times those guys cameback in our room, because i guess they were afraid that the police was coming. One of them also changed his shirt with my boyfriend’s t-shirt, maybe for notbeing recognized once escaped. We were so scared. I wa! s afraid that somethingcould go wrong for them and they could use their guns. I was worried for Ellaalone in her room. I was scared that we couldn’t make it through the night. Fortunately, I don’t know exactly how (i am still confused), the thieves left(they robbed an hotel guests’ car) and the police came. I just remember Ellacoming in my room and cutting with a knife our ropes. This was around 5am. After that we went to the police. They robbed us everything: Ella’s and mypassport, our computers, our digital cameras, all our money, traveller checks,my plane ticket, plus other random things.

For those of you who are compulsive blog-readers, indulge:

Myung - a quasi-existentialist blog, in the style of a post-modern Camus; includes complaints and third-person views of first-person situational status. Sort of an in-depth perspective and life-tutorial of an individual beginning a new chapter of life. www.myung.org

Stanley Lee - a comically entertaining version of a pseudo-Buddhist theory writer. Includes the usual blog-rants and conversation transcripts, but extends to self-reflecting ideas and esoteric Asian-American cultural identities. Sort of a cross between music, movie, and pop-culture reviews and reflective thought. www.leemur.blogspot.com

The Legend Of Claude Frank:

At times when the daily gruel and brunt work of perfection-obsessed competition playing/travelling, piano playing may occasionally represent more of an Olympic sport than an artistic activity. You practice hard, you play etudes for 1st rounds, you keep travelling wherever another opportunity might be.

Then there's Claude Frank - an octogenarian version of Frank Sinatra in charm - gnarled arthritic hands, Steve Urkel pants and matching piano key suspenders, with a legend and a history glowing from an aura when he walks into a room.

Claude Frank playing Schubert's B-Flat Major Sonata is a uniquely sublime glimpse to a humanity that emulates perfection - unadulterated by sin, swimming in the divine.

WTF. Even my mom is addicted to 24.

charcoalj: its crazy
car LOCO 69: did you rent it?
car LOCO 69: it's fucking crazy
charcoalj: we watch it for 12 hours staright
charcoalj: OMG-i was spaced out after seeing it in 12 hras staright

As Jeff says, David is the funniest FOB that was ever born. "You aren't true FOB unless you came to the states in high school." Excerpt from Jeff's blog:

The Korean Student Association (KSA) asked David to be an usher for their upcoming culture show. When asked if he’d be willing to perform the duties, he responded, “Naw man… You should ask Peter.. I can’t be Usher, I don’t know how to sing or dance.”

This made me smile. Because I am queer.

A father entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed. With the worst premonition, he read it with trembling hands.

Dear Mum and Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice. Especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it's not only that, I'm pregnant, and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that's one of my dreams. I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the one's providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure, so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it. Don' t worry about money. Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene. I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use the horse. Don't worry Mum. Now I'm 15 years old, I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Aimee

p.s: Dad, it's not true. I'm at a neighbour's house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than denting the car. Sorry about your BMW. I love you. Aimee

And this was one of the easier trips (includes wait times):

Bus (New Haven to New York) 6 hours
Plane (New York to Heathrow) 7 hours
Bus (Heathrow to Stansted) 6 hours
Plane (Stansted to Bergamo) 2 hours
Bus (Bergamo to Milan) 2 hours

Milan: Though the exotic image of a post-modern Rodeo Drive was brutally thrown to shit, Milan is still, despite the graffiti riden walls and trash-covered streets, quite nice. Also, perhaps elevated by the fact that - through my dog-sickness and complete apathy for Europe in general - the two days in Milan I spent will be two of perhaps the most memorable of my life. Thanks for a beautiful time, and for a romantic way to let go...

Lubeck: Cute town, but I'm now stuck in the shittiest living conditions I've ever seen at a music festival. Counting the days until I can get the fuck out of here....

Since when did the fucking London immigration line become like an amusement park wait??

I'm fucking tired, I'm fucking grumpy, I'm fucking exhausted, I'm fucking unmotivated, and I'm in fucking no mood to be going to Milan tomorrow.

Destinations to be covered in the following weeks: Milan, Lubeck, Bolzano.

....and it all starts again.

All of my friends, save a few, have finally managed to destroy the once-stable rendezvous guaranteed to house at least a handful of friends: Berkeley. Everybody is leaving the Bay, and hopefully, starting a new chapter in their lives. Stanley is taking it kinda hard:

naryantek: carlos...i...i love you
naryantek: hold me carlos...hold me tight and never let go...

ok check it out:

Batman Begins, coming June of 2005, will boast an all-star cast to include Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Gary Oldman (as Commisioner Gordon!), Katie Holmes, Tom Wilkinson (Fennyman from Shakespeare in Love), Michael Caine (gay stylist from Miss Congeniality) as Alfred, and Christian Bale as Batman/Bruce Wayne.

AND......... Ken Watanabe as the ninja warrior who trains Bruce Wayne to fight!

WUT!

I've devised a crude, fairly-accurate, and rudimentary method for people to determine who their closest friends are, in case you might have had a doubt. I've found, that at least in my case, this method proves almost 95% accurate:

Examine your Friendster list. If the amount of friends that you share with another person exceeds 20, he/she must be one of your closest friends. I find that this rule remains even with those people who have less than 50 people on their friends list. If he/she is truly one of your lifelong friends, then over 20 of his/her 50 friends will also be yours. [The corollary does not always prove correct.]

If a person on your Friendster is white, you share less than 10 friends in common with him/her.

Those "friends" with which you share zero friends in common - there are only a few possible cases:
1) this person is of the opposite sex, and he/she is a "skeleton in the closet," as it were.
2) this person lives in a different city from where you currently or formerly reside.
3) you have actually not had more than 10 total conversations with this person.
4) this person is a "friendster whore" - one who ups the count on his/her "friends" list for the sake of doing so. (and you couldn't say no)
5) on second thought, who the fuck is this person anyway and how did he/she get on my list?

Examine your list. Contact me if I'm wrong. Sometimes, the truth is that mathematical. Obviously there will be exceptions, but contact me if under 80% of your list does not meet these criteria.

Steve strikes back:

drungken munk ee: you dig it.
car LOCO 69: octopus jokes kick the shit out of monkey jokes any day of the week
drungken munk ee: are you kidding me?
car LOCO 69: i kid you not

drungken munk ee: A cop comes around a curve in the road and sees a bad accident.
A man and a woman both dead from a car crash. The accident seems to have no explanation but he looks up on the hill and sees a monkey waving his arms at him as if to say something.
The cop says, "hey monkey ... you know what happened?"
monkey: Motioning with his arms drinking a bottle of some kind
cop: "They were drinking?"
monkey: Nods head vigorously
cop: "What else?"
monkey: Mimes smoking a joint
cop: "They were smoking dope?"
monkey: Nods head vigorously
cop: "There must have been more. This is a very strange accident. Monkey! What else?"
monkey: Mimics sexual relations
cop: "They were screwing?"
monkey: Nods very vigorously
cop: "This still doesn't make any sense.
Hey monkey! What were you doing to know all this?"
monkey: makes motion as if he were driving and looking behind him...

Octopus jokes:

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. The guy says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

The first one walks up with a guitar. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. So the man pays $50.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50.

A third guy walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.
"Ha!" the man said. "Can't you play it?"
The octopus looks up at the man and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off!!"

Steve's reaction:
drungken munk ee: rah!
car LOCO 69: you like that
drungken munk ee: he's gonna get some octopussy tonight.
car LOCO 69: hahhahaha i knew you were gonna say that

The life story of my 3-year roommate, Myung:

I went to Walnut High School and graduated in 1999. I was a good kid in high school… I joined all the clubs, went to church, got involved in ASB… Did all the shit that you want your son to do.
The first two years of college were rugged. A bunch of bad shit kept happening beginning from the end of high school. I consequently became self destructive. March 1999, two of my good friends, Lynn Chen and Suel Lee died in a car crash coming back from a rave. I got my heart broken, for the first time, by a girl my freshman year of college. I shutdown my pride and joy, MP3site.com, in 2000, because I got dicked over by a company called Raremedium. My mom moved back to Korea. My other good friend from high school, Jason Cheng, died suddenly of a heart failure in March of 2001. Ironically, I searched for a way out of those dark years inside of a toilet bowl, yacking my brains out at one of two Korean drinking establishments (Koko House & World Beat) on telegraph. Both were shut down because they allowed newborn babies to drink Soju out of their bottles. I didn’t give a shit during those years- I went through my sophomore year of college without purchasing a single book or attending a single lecture. I shit you not.
There was no event that caused me to give a shit again. It’s just that when I hit rock bottom, I had no choice but to swim back up. My junior year, I started going to class, I found a job doing computer shit for campus.

Carlos , the incarnation of Beelzebub himself, transferred to Yale to study music.

I decided that I wanted to give my academics a second shot. That’s when I decided to pursue law. My Junior and Senior year were stable and I brought my 2.0 GPA to 3.010…

I’m ready to start fresh at law school.

A list of the most badass people ever to walk the cinema:

1. Chen Zhen
2. Tequila Yuen
3. The Terminator
4. Jack Bauer
5. Jason Bourne
6. Chief Inspector Lee
7. Sarah Connor
8. Ellen Ripley

Stanley has been compiling a list of perverted movie titles for the past few days. Below are some of the more clever ones. For the full list, please see www.leemur.blogspot.com

Masterbatuer and Cockmannder : Far Side of the Whore
In Diana Jones
A.I. : Anal Intrusion
Black Cock Down
The Rodfather
Deep InPacked
Bending Over Beckham
Moulin Splooge
When Harry Ate Sally
Apoclimax Now
The Whole Nine Inches
Beauty and the Beastiality
Anal Management
Wet Dreams May Come

Inspired by the thoughts of Jeff, www.myung.org.

The learning process is too much of a gradual realization for the present to maintain a healthy velocity - too often, it is too late. Writing keeps the mind in check.

Is a perpetually-changing status quo even a status quo? Friendships and relationships are based on familiarity and routine, yet the stability of routine is too unstable, and the familiarity of routine too unfamiliar. Ex: Remember that friend you used to do everything with for over 3 months, but now you doubt if you'll even ever speak again? Can you ever really predict who is going to be temporary, and who is going to be forever? 

It is weird for me to think that by the end of this coming school year, I will have been at Yale for as long as I was at Berkeley. Have I made as many lifelong relationships? Will Yale ever be as close to my life as Berkeley is/was? 

"3) always see the silver lining
a) There is a lot of fucked up shit in this world, but you should always try to maintain a global perspective. There are a few times when you are allowed to show pain and anger, but you should really save yourself for those bigger events … eg death of a loved one. Try to find the significance of an event in the grand picture. Maybe receiving that speeding ticket actually will help you avoid a fatal traffic accident in 2 years. Maybe losing 100 bucks at the casino today will prevent you from having a gambling addiction when you have a family. Maybe the heart break you suffered from the breakup will allow you to be a more empathetic lover in the future. Maybe your friend’s shit-talking will make you sharper when you make friendships in the future.If you can gain a life lesson from everything that’s fucked up in your life, you’re that much more equipped to handle tough situations in the future and people will look to you for leadership/strength during those times." - myung

This is a truly deep Kiefer Sutherland "24" addiction if I ever saw one:

j m 2 c a l: gottago
j m 2 c a l: i'm at 4:00PM
j m 2 c a l: i wanna make my clock match up with real time
car LOCO 69: wtf

I'm reinstalling Windows XP at the moment. I had questions as to whether there were any special things I should worry about:

j  m  2  c  a  l: DO NOT let it have ethernet til that firewall is on
j  m  2  c  a  l: and MAKE SURE you do all the updates
car LOCO 69: is it susceptible to a virus in that short an amount of time?
j  m  2  c  a  l: dude, just be extra safe..... treat your computer as you would treat your dick if you were gonna have sex in africa

OK. I GET IT. and later:

car LOCO 69: you've never gotten hit by a virus?
j  m  2  c  a  l: never
car LOCO 69: damn
j  m  2  c  a  l: i'm on the pill man

If all the text in mine and Stan's blog (www.leemur.blogspot.com) were compiled into a book - it would be:

380 pages (large print, standard size)
217 pages (stadard print, standard paperback)
126 pages (standard size/print, hardcover academic textbook)
76 pages (small print, encyclopedia-size reference book)

This, of course, does not take into consideration the duplicate entries, for which there are a few.

There's right, there's left, and there's vogue:

car LOCO 69: yo but andrea thinks john edwards is cute
car LOCO 69: that's good game
jrey77: yea he is cute
jrey77: almost hot

This is not a joke. After all the joking we've done about "The Porn Identity," turns out Matt Damon thought of it first:

Of course Damon's point is, if you're going to reinvent yourself as an action star, then, do so in a less than ordinary fashion, referring to The Bourne Supremacy that he feels takes the genre onto a new level. But if he fails as an action hero, Damon says he can always take porn onto a new level. ""What I want to do is a character-driven porn movie!  It's all going to be about the characters and the porn's going to grow out of the characters and it's going to serve as character development.  Perhaps, he adds, maybe he'll end up starring in The Porn Identity!

source: www.filmmonthly.com/Profiles/Articles/ MDamonBourneSupremacy/MDamonBourneSupremacy.html

Chauvinism, apparently, spans the sexual-orientation spectrum of men regardless of preference. In response to Kirsten Dunst from Spiderman 2:

Carlos (straight): Bitch, stop fuckin' talking and take your pants off already.
Jeff (gay): Bitch, stop fuckin' talking and take his pants off already.

SUPPORT JEROME. LSATS FOR ASS! ('rome has an agreement with his girlfriend. he gets a 177 on the LSATS, then he gets some)

naryantek: i had to explain to alice once the bright side
naryantek: at least it doesnt get any raunchier than our group of friends
car LOCO 69: HAHAHAHA
car LOCO 69: i'm sure she found that comforting dude
naryantek: we're pretty much as gross as it gets i think
naryantek: i think she rolled her eyes
car LOCO 69: well i always think so too right
car LOCO 69: until we meet up with jerome
car LOCO 69: then i'm like
car LOCO 69: damn we ain't even skimmed the surface dawg
naryantek: HHAHAHHAHAHhaAHc
ar LOCO 69: hahahhahah
car LOCO 69: i mean that fool testin' out right now for ASS
car LOCO 69: i wonder if he'll nail that 177
naryantek: support JEROME
naryantek: LSATS FOR ASS
car LOCO 69: for sho fo sho

Stan and I were discussing the G-spot the other day when all of a sudden we stumbled across an educational site: www.findthegspot.com. Try it.

naryantek: i like the last page
naryantek: Can I make you some breakfast? Would you like a beer? How about a blow job? That's O.K. Baby, you can watch the football game while I satisfy you. Anything for my BIG Daddy.
naryantek: HAHAhahahahaHAHA
car LOCO 69: hahAHAHH
car LOCO 69: Keep your cursor out of my ass dipshit.
Now go back and try again. If you keep treating me like this, you won't find the g spot. If you don't find the g-spot, I won't orgasm. If I don't orgasm, you won't orgasm ever again.
naryantek: HAHAHHAhahhahaA
naryantek: omg blog worthy

Stan has the perfect idea:

car LOCO 69: 24 is like action/suspense on crack
car LOCO 69: cuz of the real time thing
car LOCO 69: the real time thing is fucking crazy
naryantek: imagine if they had a '24' of porn
car LOCO 69: HAHAHAH
naryantek: could u last?
car LOCO 69: HAHAHHhhaha
naryantek: its like 24 real time
naryantek: of FUCKING

IT'S A BIG YEAR. For those of you pianists who read my blog, I've compiled the application deadlines of all the next major international competitions out there coming up. Don't miss them:
 
deadlines:
rubinstein - 9/1/2004
marguerite-long - 9/1/2004
viotti - 9/3/2004
beethoven - 9/30/2004
hilton head - 10/1/2004
cliburn - 10/15/2004
shreveport - 10/24/2004
santander - 10/30/2004
zaragosa - 10/2004
london - 12/1/2004
liszt - 12/10/2004
epinal - 1/1/2005
cleveland - 1/1/2005

This is why I love Roger Ebert (regarding the new King Arthur movie):

I would have liked to see deeper characterizations and more complex dialogue, as in movies like "Braveheart" or "Rob Roy," but today's multiplex audience, once it has digested a word like Sarmatia, feels its day's work is done.

They even keep straight faces in the last shot, as the camera audaciously pulls back to reveal Stonehenge. That gives audience members a choice; they can think (a) "A-ha! So that explains Stonehenge!" or (b) "What a cheap shot to use Stonehenge as a location when it has nothing to do with anything," or (c) "What's that?"

This makes sense, if you know Steve Chiang:

i dont understand this guy:

drungken munk ee (7:34:48 PM): alright, lemme approximate some R, matey.
drungken munk ee (7:35:17 PM): when i take breaks from homework, i end up making up riddles and puns with my variables and functions.
naryantek (7:35:32 PM): thats probably the geekiest thing ive ever heard
drungken munk ee (7:35:47 PM): in numerical analysis, you can really talk like a pirate, 'cuz you work with the R-variable a lot.
naryantek (7:36:04 PM): theres a guy on our team dressed like a pirate??
drungken munk ee (7:36:34 PM): and i noticed that finite-iteration on g using newton's method can be abbreviated FIG Newton.
naryantek (7:37:00 PM): lol
drungken munk ee (7:37:06 PM): or guess how we denote the standard error of x...
drungken munk ee (7:37:06 PM): SE(x)
naryantek (7:37:17 PM): omg im audi
naryantek (7:37:27 PM): piz-nates
drungken munk ee (7:37:46 PM): no, wait! there's more!
drungken munk ee (7:37:46 PM): stay! you know you want it!
drungken munk ee (7:37:47 PM): you yearn for it!
drungken munk ee (7:37:47 PM): hunger!
drungken munk ee (7:37:47 PM): hunger!
drungken munk ee (7:37:51 PM): blub blub blub.
drungken munk ee signed off at 7:37:55 PM.

Straight Plagiarism, courtesy of Stanley Lee:

attempt #0:
jrey77: yo do you know a guy named lionel
jrey77: from walnut
naryantek: yeah
naryantek: why
jrey77: oh he's my gf's cousin
naryantek: lionel bao
naryantek: has a little brother named richard?
jrey77: yea haha lioniel richie

attempt #1
naryantek: yeah and i just noticed
naryantek: lionel and richard
naryantek: you guys wouldnt happen to be named after lionel richie would u?
rainthink111: hahah
rainthink111: wtf

attempt #2
kurupt27ls: hey
rainthink111: ?
rainthink111: wut
kurupt27ls: i got something to ask you
rainthink111: ask
kurupt27ls: and u gotta be straight with me
rainthink111: ask
kurupt27ls: aiite?
rainthink111: ask?
kurupt27ls: did your parents really name you and richie after lionel richie?
rainthink111: omg
rainthink111: fag
rainthink111: no
rainthink111: fag....i tabbed out of a sc game so u can ask that gay shit?

Movie Reviews - The Terminal:

In the wake of terrible reviews, The Terminal deserves a certain amount of credit, regardless of its inevitable categorical flaw as a bad romance movie. In this case, unique to the history inextricably associated with it, the bad romance part is luckily imbued with enough political context to save at least a star or two out of its horrible 2 star ratings across the board.

Beyond the romance, The Terminal is yet another post-9/11 cinematic collage of American ideals, cleverly displayed through every possible unamerican aspect of American society. In effect, it stretches our notion of the 'melting pot' - and exactly how international the word "American" has come to represent.

The touch of genius was probably the set - the international terminal. The Terminal, by nature, represents the most international part of the U.S - neither foreign nor American soil. Seems to me as though Spielberg was trying to stretch our definition of "American".

Or maybe it's just a bad romance movie.

I have not yet seen the movie, though I think I've done enough research on the film to write a term paper. From Ebert:

A reader writes:

"In your articles discussing Michael Moore's film 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' you call it a documentary. I always thought of documentaries as presenting facts objectively without editorializing. While I have enjoyed many of Mr. Moore's films, I don't think they fit the definition of a documentary."

That's where you're wrong. Most documentaries, especially the best ones, have an opinion and argue for it. Even those that pretend to be objective reflect the filmmaker's point of view. Moviegoers should observe the bias, take it into account and decide if the film supports it or not.

Michael Moore is a liberal activist. He is the first to say so. He is alarmed by the prospect of a second term for George W. Bush, and made "Fahrenheit 9/11" for the purpose of persuading people to vote against him.

That is all perfectly clear, and yet in the days before the film opens June 25, there'll be bountiful reports by commentators who are shocked! shocked! that Moore's film is partisan. "He doesn't tell both sides," we'll hear, especially on Fox News, which is so famous for telling both sides.

The wise French director Godard once said, "The way to criticize a film is to make another film." That there is not a pro-Bush documentary available right now I am powerless to explain. Surely, however, the Republican National Convention will open with such a documentary, which will position Bush comfortably between Ronald Reagan and God. The Democratic convention will have a wondrous film about John Kerry. Anyone who thinks one of these documentaries is "presenting facts objectively without editorializing" should look at the other one.

The pitfall for Moore is not subjectivity, but accuracy. We expect him to hold an opinion and argue it, but we also require his facts to be correct. I was an admirer of his previous doc, the Oscar-winning "Bowling for Columbine," until I discovered that some of his "facts" were wrong, false or fudged.

In some cases, he was guilty of making a good story better, but in other cases (such as his ambush of Charlton Heston) he was unfair, and in still others (such as the wording on the plaque under the bomber at the Air Force Academy) he was just plain wrong, as anyone can see by going to look at the plaque.

Because I agree with Moore's politics, his inaccuracies pained me, and I wrote about them in my Answer Man column. Moore wrote me that he didn't expect such attacks "from you, of all people." But I cannot ignore flaws simply because I agree with the filmmaker. In hurting his cause, he wounds mine.

Now comes "Fahrenheit 9/11," floating on an enormous wave of advance publicity. It inspired a battle of the titans between Disney's Michael Eisner and Miramax's Harvey Weinstein. It won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival. It has been rated R by the MPAA, and former New York Gov. Mario Cuomo has signed up as Moore's lawyer, to challenge the rating. The conservative group Move America Forward, which successfully bounced the mildly critical biopic "The Reagans" off CBS and onto cable, has launched a campaign to discourage theaters from showing "Fahrenheit 9/11."

The campaign will amount to nothing and disgraces Move America Forward by showing it trying to suppress disagreement instead of engaging it. The R rating may stand; there is a real beheading in the film, and only fictional beheadings get the PG-13. Disney and Miramax will survive.

Moore's real test will come on the issue of accuracy. He can say whatever he likes about Bush, as long as his facts are straight. Having seen the film twice, I saw nothing that raised a flag for me, and I haven't heard of any major inaccuracies. When Moore was questioned about his claim that Bush unwisely lingered for six or seven minutes in that Florida classroom after learning of the World Trade Center attacks, Moore was able to reply with a video of Bush doing exactly that.

I agree with Moore that the presidency of George W. Bush has been a disaster for America. In writing that, I expect to get the usual complaints that movie critics should keep their political opinions to themselves. But opinions are my stock in trade, and is it not more honest to declare my politics than to conceal them? I agree with Moore, and because I do, I hope "Fahrenheit 9/11" proves to be as accurate as it seems.

I am now in Japan. Preliminary observations after 1 day:

- Wow I love the toilets.
- How can such hot girls have such fucked up teeth?
- Wow it's expensive.
- The advertising, as Stanley mentioned, is like that in Minority Report.

"On off time artists talk either money or sex, music being delegated for working hours."
-Ned Rorem

The Eternal Pessimist:
"Love is not possible. If it were possible, it wouldn't be love."
-Ned Rorem

Tentative repertoire for next semester:

Beethoven Sonata Op. 110
Schumann Fantasy
Rachmaninoff Etudes-Tableau Op. 39
Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 3

Which Asian are you? Sadly, this 'joke' is all too true - I'm sure that all of you reading can name at least 10 people that fit into each category.

'Twinkie
- Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
- Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
- You have few Asian friends, if any
- You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
- You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
- You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
- You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
- You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock

Asian-American
- You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you're whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
- You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
- You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
- You read A. magazine and think it's great
- You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are
- You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below

Yap (Young Asian Professional)
- You are in one of these professions:
a) Medicine / Pharmaceutical
b) Engineering
c) Finance
d) Investment Banking
e) Accounting
- Most of your wardrobe was purchased at Banana Republic
- You go to "mixers" on Thursday nights to meet other Yaps and talk about the Dow Jones.
- You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result, your life is hella boring
- Your apartment/home is decorated almost exclusively with stuff from Pier 1
- Your parents always talk to their friends about how much money you make. If they don't, then you're a dissapointment

Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)
- You were not born in America
- You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently
- You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
- You do not have any non-Asian friends
- Your parents do not speak any English
- When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
- You get extremely good grades in school no....at least not in college
- You cannot dance
- Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you're from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe

SuperFob
- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don't care
- You like dim sum chicken feet
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn't bootlegged
- Your only hangout is Chinatown
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
- You dry your cloths outside your window
- You need a haircut
- You either smell like cigarettes or food

Fobabee
- You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently "awoken"
- You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
- You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie ; Banana) or Black (Chigger ; Tea egg)
- If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous

Gangsta Fob (Fobsta)
- You have shot another Asian
- Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
- When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
- Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you'll shoot them
- You have a serious gambling problem
- You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
- No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you'll shoot them
- You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs perhaps...

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)
- You shop at A/X, Bebe and Club Monaco
- You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to "mix it up"
- You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
- You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
- Platform heels are your favorite
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
- You do not smile in public
- You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
- You smoke
- Your cell phone is completely customized
- On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
- Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
- You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
- You are often seen with Rice-boys
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend

Hoochie Tab
- You are an import car model
- Your boobs are not real
- There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
- Stiletto heels are your favorite
- Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu
- Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
- You cheat on your boyfriend
- Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school

Rice-Boy
- You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
- Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it's original stock form
- Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
- The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
- You always drive like you are racing someone
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
- The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
- Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit
- If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.

Fobulous
- You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
- You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
- You listen to Asian pop as well as American music not much asian music anymore...
- You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture *or equally unaware...*
- You are a good dancer
- You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
- You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
- You have an Apt107 page AND an AA page and the guest books in both are packed
- For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
- You have lots of Asian pride

The anatomy and dissection of a classical playlist, and what you might happen to be in the mood for:

I feel debaucherously decadent today, and I want unabashed cheese mixed with sexual non-moral harmony:
Rachmaninoff, Piano Concerto No. 2
Strauss, Don Juan
Tchaikovsky, Symphony No. 5

I'm fucking angry today, espcially at Stalin for killing all those people - and Hitler sucks too:
Shostakovich, String Quartet No. 8
Prokofieff, Piano Concerto No. 2
Shostakovich, Symphony No. 5
Hindemith, Mathis der Maler

Rejoice, oh beautiful Earth, for today is a gift of glory, and the first day to change your life into something spectacular:
Messiaen, Quartet for the End of Time
Mahler, Symphony No. 2
Beethoven, Symphony No. 9

God, prehistoric history is so great, and I wish I could save all the whales:
George Crumb, Voice of the Whale

Fuck, I'm BORED:
Anything by Phillip Glass or Steve Reich

I think I need some classical music for my relaxation work day:
Telemann Concerto Grosso Op. 9872, No. 3853932

Recently, I've had absolutely nothing original to post - thus, I am going to consistently plagiarize and steal shamelessly from Stanley's blog. This is from Pulp Fiction:

VINCENT
So you're serious, you're really
gonna quit?

JULES
The life, most definitely.

VINCENT
So if you're quitting the life,
what'll you do?

JULES
That's what I've been sitting here
contemplating. First, I'm gonna
deliver this case to Marsellus.
Then, basically, I'm gonna walk the
earth.

VINCENT
What do you mean, walk the earth?

JULES
You know, like Caine in "KUNG FU."
Just walk from town to town, meet
people, get in adventures.

VINCENT
How long do you intend to walk the
earth?

JULES
Until God puts me where he want me
to be.

VINCENT
What if he never does?

JULES
If it takes forever, I'll wait
forever.

VINCENT
So you decided to be a bum?

JULES
I'll just be Jules, Vincent -- no
more, no less.

VINCENT
No Jules, you're gonna be like
those pieces of shit out there who
beg for change. They walk around
like a bunch of fuckin' zombies,
they sleep in garbage bins, they
eat what I throw away, and dogs
piss on 'em. They got a word for
'em, they're called bums. And
without a job, residence, or legal
tender, that's what you're gonna be
-- a fuckin' bum!

JULES
Look my friend, this is just where
me and you differ --

VINCENT
-- what happened was peculiar -- no
doubt about it -- but it wasn't
water into wine.

JULES
All shapes and sizes, Vince.

VINCENT
Stop fuckin' talkin' like that!

JULES
If you find my answers frightening,
Vincent, you should cease askin'
scary questions.

VINCENT
When did you make this decision --
while you were sitting there eatin'
your muffin?

JULES
Yeah. I was just sitting here
drinking my coffee, eating my
muffin, playin' the incident in my
head, when I had what alcoholics
refer to as a "moment of clarity."

VINCENT
I gotta take a shit. To be
continued.

The following is the just-released 2004 US News rankings of schools in the US with the lowest acceptance rates:

1. Curtis Institute of Music (PA) 7%
2. Juilliard School (NY) 8%
3. United States Coast Guard Acad. (CT)* 8%
4. Harvard University (MA) 11%
5. Princeton University (NJ) 11%
6. Columbia University (NY) 12%
7. United States Naval Academy (MD)* 12%
8. College of the Ozarks (MO) 12%
9. Stanford University (CA) 13%
10. Yale University (CT) 13%

Is it humorous, plain funny, sadistic, or insane that the first 2 schools listed in the entire country that include ALL majors and specialties, just happen to be in the field of music performance? Fuck this occupation.

Perhaps an even more interestingly-enigmatic question would be: WHAT THE FUCK IS COLLEGE OF THE OZARKS. and how is it so fucking hard to get into?!! Jeff's explanation:

j m 2 c a l: To be eligible for admission, a person must graduate from an accredited high school. Applicants who are not high school graduates are required to submit passing scores on the General Education Development (GED) Test before admissions may be granted. Specific admission requirements are listed throughout this section by application type. Specific requirements may not apply to adult learners (21 years of age), or the applications may be exempted. (http://www.mvsu.edu/academics.html)
j m 2 c a l: it's probably cause the students that want to attend usually don't meet the minimum requirements
j m 2 c a l: they submit their applications on brown paper bags
j m 2 c a l: and get denied

(on a chairlift sometime this season)

steve: (staring at a double black diamond) how do you think they make moguls?
stan: they smoosh a snowman. like one of calvin's deranged killer snow goons.
steve: (still staring at moguls) yeah id like to see that army of snow goons before they smooshed them.
stan: (turns to steve) you fag.

Performance Schedule

March 27th - Prokofieff 2nd Concerto
March 29th - Rorem Trio
April 2nd - Weber Duo Concertante
April 8th - Rachmaninoff, Debussy, Chopin, Beethoven, Rorem Full Recital
April 8th - Judd Greenstein Sonata
April 15th - Beethoven 3rd Concerto
April 14th - Prokofieff 2nd Concerto
April 16th - Brahms Schumann Variations
April 23rd - Beethoven Appassionata, Bach, Rachmaninoff Sonata

This is how busy I've been.

sleepyx637: yo
j m 2 c a l: yo
sleepyx637: los is talking to me
sleepyx637: :-)

Everybody knows Friendster. You're all on it. If you're not, it just means you haven't sold out yet. They'll get you though. Sooner or later. Below is the single best Friendster testimonial I've ever read:

MIKE:
basically stanley is the sexiest chinese guy i know, behind steven, jeff tseng, ben, and mcquire. he is hella smart, can dance pretty well, is loyal to friennds, and will give it up to you if you ask twice. he likes rubbing my ear meat.

This goes out to those who know Jerome - the EECS Madman

naryantek: heard u went clubbing with ryan
EECS Madman: i just finished beating off, now i have nothing to do
EECS Madman: yea werd
EECS Madman: i saw some lakers benchwarmers

This came in response to a conservative radio talk show host discussing the morality of homosexuality:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

"You see, you wouldn't ask why the rose that grew from the concrete had damaged petals. On the contrary - we would all celebrate its tenacity, we would all love its will to reach the sun. Well...we are the roses, this is the concrete, and these are my damaged petals. Don't ask me why...Thank God nigga, ask me how."
-2pac

Seen on a New York City billboard:

Four scantily clad, obviously men-hating, gorgeous white women - the type who have had their fair share of bone in them. The ad?

"THE L-WORD" - airing soon. "SAME SEX. DIFFERENT CITY."

when will it stop....

Seen at Juilliard:
Young Korean female, no more than 17 years old, bawling helplessly into the arms of her undoubtedly glory-hopeful mother shortly after callbacks are posted. Nearby, a Russian is smoking.

Heard at Juilliard:
Person 1: Dude, check it out, check it out [carrying a long thin case]. I got something you would kill to have.
Person 2: A penis?
Person 1: Uh, you don't have a penis?
Person 2: Nah, I lost it in a terrible accident with your mother.
Person 1: Fuck you. You know what this is? 30,000 dollar Santori bow, my friend.
Person 2: What the hell are you doing with a 30,000 dollar bow.
Person 1: I'm gonna sell it and buy drugs.

Sadly, these have been my friends for the last 4 years.

drungken munk ee (9:43:16 PM): yeah, it's already gotten so bad that i can't really even begin to trick her. she'll kick my ass for sure.
drungken munk ee (9:43:43 PM): and when i restrain her physically, she does that cold-shoulder deal. i hate that cold-shoulder deal.
naryantek (9:44:43 PM): damn shes got you under her thumb.
naryantek (9:44:48 PM): HER THUMB!
drungken munk ee (9:45:28 PM): let's not talk about thumbs, my thumby friend.
naryantek (9:45:56 PM): huh
drungken munk ee (9:46:05 PM): you are sure to be the professional in that department; you know alice's thumbs better than she does.
drungken munk ee (9:46:08 PM): biooootch!
drungken munk ee (9:48:09 PM): silence = defeat.
naryantek (9:51:47 PM): GAY
naryantek (9:51:51 PM): you are so gay
naryantek (9:52:02 PM): i was in the bathroom and you had a mini contest with yourself
naryantek (9:52:11 PM): and i still dont get why im a pro with thumbs
drungken munk ee (9:53:32 PM): here:

function alice(person stan) {
if (!stan->whupped)
stan->whupped = 1;
else if (stan->confident) {
stan->confident = stan->confident - 1;
alice(stan);
} else {
printf("%s is so under %s's thumb!",stan,alice);
alice(stan);
}
}

drungken munk ee (9:53:45 PM): as you can see, the function is endlessly recursive in nature.

The Truest Definition of Globalization: The death of Princess Diana

An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an American,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

this was forwarded to me by an Australian

[ x ] prokofieff 4th mvt
[ x ] rach etude
[ x ] liszt ballade
[ ] prokofieff 3rd mvt
[ ] chopin etude
[ ] mozart concerto
[ ] rach concerto
[ ] beethoven concerto
[ ] 111, bach, and earl wild

it's gonna be a long semester.

Upcoming destinations: Texas in Feburary. Japan in June. Australia in July?

In rewatching "Quiz Show" and "Finding Forrester", I found it especially intriguing that both movies climaxed a scene with a 'quote game' - an intellectual game for the esoteric and elite few who are nerdy enough to memorize individual and distinct lines from Dickinson, Shakespeare, Tennyson, etc. poems to quiz the challenger. I always found this sophomorically impressive, not that I would ever be nerdy enough to quote anything from a dead European poet.

However, since the new American cultural idiom (or does that exist?) tends to be in areas much less respectable (or artsy-fartsy) than dead European poetic jargon, I figured the contemporary equivelent of such a game would be to quote rap.

So test yourself. Rack your mind. Recreate yourself and intellectually indulge to see if you can place the title and artist.

"Today I didn't even have to use my AK / I guess it was a good day."

"Even though you was a crack fiend, mama / you always was a black queen, mama"

"See to live is to suffer but to survive well that's to find meaning in the suffering."

"Stereotypes of a black male misunderstood....and it's still all good."

"Have you ever been hated or discriminated against? I have / I been protested and demonstrated against."

"I don't rap to get the women. Fuck bitches / Gimme a fat slug who cooks and does dishes."

"I sold my soul to the devil, and the price was cheap / yo it's cold on this level cause it's twice as deep / But you don't hear me, ignorance is bliss and so on / Sometimes it's better to be thought dumb, Shall I go on"

"How many brothers fell victim to the streets? / Rest in peace, y'all niggaz / There's a heaven for a G"

A few of us here got involved in quite-heated discussion regarding gender-bias amongst classical musicians - specifically, in the question of whether or not one could distinguish the piano playing of a male or a female without prior knowledge of the gender.

Oddly enough, the results through the times have reversed their chauvinist tendencies, and it was the females who maintained that yes, truly, there were highly apparent and discernible differences between male and female players. "Males tend to have a more solid, direct, and louder sound, whereas females will never be able to achieve that sound but compensate by cultivating a more refined sense of subtlety and lyricism."

(Bullshit)

The truth is, there really is no difference between a male and female player. Period.

"In my experience, it is much easier to tell a male or female musician by an examination of their genitalia." - Brian Snow

This is the weather at the current moment in the coldest parts of the world:
Moscow: 26 F
Iceland: 32 F
Antarctica: 24 F
North Pole: 2 F
New Haven: 0 F

HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

Tentative Recital Program:

Debussy Etudes: Pour les huit doigts, Pour les agréments, Pour les arpèges composés (10 minutes)
Liszt, Ballade No. 2 (14 minutes)
Rachmaninoff, Sonata No. 2 (25 minutes)
Gershwin/Wild, Improvisation in the form of a Theme and Three Variations on 'Someone To Watch Over Me' (12 minutes)

good quote: "You know the world's gone crazy when the best rapper is white, the best golfer is black, the tallest guy in the NBA is chinese, France is accusing the U.S of arrogance, Germany does NOT want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in the world are named "Bush" and "Dick".

Haven't blogged in awhile. Random thoughts:

Unsure at this point whether it is strange that I foster an immediate distate for the unabashedly wealthy, particularly in the case of the nice-and-rich. I played a gig last week for one of the top donors to the Yale School of Music, who reportedly donated a lump sum of over 10 million dollars to us - on top of that, upon further conversation, I discovered that a new hobby of his was the collection of vineyards. Yes, vineyards. Not a wine collector - a vineyard collector, with vineyards across the United States and France.

I found myself fostering an immediate distate for this man - who, in all respects, was possibly one of the nicest men I had ever met. I'm still not quite sure what it is. Perhaps it's the hypothetical - had he given this 10 million dollars to Oakland public schools instead of to an institution that annually receives over 11 billion dollars in funds (in addition to its long-standing private arrangements with corporate business), would the world be a better place? Am I wrong to foster such judgement? Is it even any of my business?

I found out quite interesting tonight to find out that Howard Dean's outspoken Christian faith is becoming more prevalent in the campaign trail, particularly because he is most heavily associated with his brave support of gay-rights. Also interesting to note that his wife (and kids) are Jewish. Christians take note.

School starting again. I feel ready for the stress and the 9am-midnight days. I hope it will last.