It's been a long day and I'm tired. A lot of you have no idea what's going on, but when you find out, you guys will all be asking me a series of questions. Let me answer most of them now.

What happened?
Come see me for a drink. I'll tell you then.

How does this keep happening to you and why do you keep doing this to yourself?
I'm sorry. I don't really know. I might have some sort of innate pathological self-destructive tendency that I'm unable to rid myself of - I guess some people thought I had changed, but maybe it's time to fucking face reality and admit to myself that this time, it's time to take it like a man and accept today for what it is. Maybe my confidence has been based on some massive delusion; maybe it's just been me living in some existential dream, trying to dissipate reality into self-catered fiction. Sometimes you have to look into yourself realistically without the sugar fucking coating that the people you love sprinkle on you all the time - how many people will you have to let down to realize that you're just a bad person?

I apologize, I really do. I'm sorry for letting the few of you down who believed in me and had hope in me, and I wish to God I could change. But maybe it's time that those of you who have some sort of misguided faith in my "potential" (or whatever that means) or talent to just give up. Sorry.

Dude, it's not your fault. This is just so fucked up.
No. It IS my fault. And in retrospect, it's sort of an artificial utopian optimism to believe that I just get fucked over all the time. My resume reads like a sociopathic rebel incapable of controlling his own actions. Those who love me feel I'm misunderstood; those who hate me think I am a cocky son of a bitch who believes he is above the law; those who know me think that what comes easy to me is dangerous; and those who don't know me would rather keep it that way.

I've been kicked out of so many institutions by now I can barely keep track of them all. "You ever think there comes a point where you gotta stop living up there, and start living down here?"

What are you going to do now?
I don't know yet.

You have so many people who believe in you and you always let them down. Don't you think that's selfish? How can you just keep doing that?
Like I said before, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Maybe you guys should stop wasting time "believing" in me. You'll get better results that way. Don't get me wrong - I'm grateful to all of you, and I'd be a wreck without you guys. But it's time for me to stop living in a fucking fairy tale.

Dude, don't say that. It's not true.
Don't fuck with me. I know it's true. You're a better friend to me if you just spit it in my fucking face. Seriously.

I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
Don't trip. Life goes on, homes. Life goes on. I'll be fine - I promise you.