One day, as I was continuing my habitual search for enlightenment (via Google, of course), I stumbled across the closest thing to it:

"G-Funk was not introduced as a unified philosophy (as with Dre's idol, Nietzsche) but, like Marxism, grew from repeating themes expounded in work within earlier movements. The innermost chamber of the G-Funk labyrinth is the definition of the G-Thang. We're given many examples of G-Thangs in the early work (busting, getting paid, toking without choking, etc.), but Dre seemed to shy away from a formal definition, perhaps relying on the Cubist epigram, "Life ain't nothing but bitches and money."

Logic: Rational (Try to get up close, and your ass get smacked.)

Aesthetics: Independent, anti-sacred (We don't love them hos.)

Ethics: Situational (We ain't asking for shit, nigga, we taking it.)

Epistemology: Solipsistic Empiricism (But that's the life of a G, I guess // Ese's way deep, shanked two in they chest)"