From the same people that brought you Ladder Theory, here's "On Fur Elise": (This is a little taste for those of you who are too lazy to click the link. For the more blog-faithful, the link is at the bottom.)

Well we know that Beethoven was notriously grumpy. He was also the greatest musical genius to ever live. That of course is a value judgment,and if you disagree with it you are a terrorist.

So the real question is not how well he wrote for the human voice(quite), or if he was a manic-depressive(no), or why he and Haydn didn't get along(who gives a shit?) but how much did he get laid? I say a lot and here's why:

Now, this will seem like pure conjecture now, but I am confident that when scholars get around to reading some of those old diaries that everyone seems to have kept in the 18th century so some humanities major can get their Ph.D. they will discover that Beethoven had that piece for many years before its now officially recognized publication date.

Why did he never make it public?

Because he used it to score more pussy than a bonobo.

Julie: "Hello, Mr. Beethoven, what's that?"
Beethoven: "Oh, just a little piece I'm working on. And please, call me Ludwig."
Julie(nervously): "It's beautiful. What's is it called?"
Beethoven: "I was thinking of calling it 'Fur Julie'"
Julie(blushing madly): "Oh Beethoven,really....?"
Beethoven: "Absolutely. Here let me show you the first notes. Come sit next to me..."

Please read more at: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/beethoventheory.html. Thank you, Wayne.