Lake

Tahoe
is


truth.

Public shit talking. Sigh.

sleepyx637: hows da program?
naryantek: gay
sleepyx637: nice
sleepyx637: as gay as carlos?
naryantek: almost.
naryantek: almost.
sleepyx637: haha
naryantek: but hes a lil flamier than we've ever imagined
sleepyx637: lol

I now know that the indescribable horror in the hearts of men has, for the sake of evil pragmatism, joined all seven of the deadly sins into one collosally fucked-up monster sin that drives normally regular men to the brinks of insane irrationalism - just for the sake of a cheap thrill.

Yes. The indian reservation. Fuck the indian reservation. Fuck gambling.

"The horror, the horror" will soon be aptly changed for a 21st century adaptation to "double down, double down." I'd fuck Joseph Conrad up. Marlow ain't got shit on me. That little pansy bitch never lost two bills in less than an hour, and the fool is still whining 'the horror, the horror' like a fucked up faggoty little baby.

Thank you, Stanley, for bringing to my attention Steve's gayest away message.

"Steve is not a round. He hopped on the wrong bus with a pair 'o lellograms. So try angle before you get a wrecked angle."

Steve Chiang's Hall of Fame, edited a bit for context: (If anybody can give me anymore, please IM me)

"Me and Leslie getting together was like destiny. .....So, if we had a kid together, he would be Destiny's Child!"

"The word 'locally'....would be like if Carlos's screenname married Stanley. He would be Loco Lee!"

"Tupac's mom must have been a chess player.....'even though you was a crack fiend, mama/ you always was a black queen, mama!'"

"It would suck to play two-hand-touch football with Busta Rhymes. He could count 10 apples in half a second!"

That's all I can remember right now. If I think of more, I'll post them.

Wordplay of the day:
"He brings champagne to his real friends? I'll bring real pain to his sham friends" - Victor Rosa, in Empire

Warning: Since my next seven days will not be spent at school, which hence implicitly also indicates I won't be at my computer 24/7, the blogs for the next week will contain little or no humor - just thoughts.

- How is it possible that five people can jump one dude in a crowded club, be seen by dozens of people, and get away with it? I don't understand. For those of you at Cal, please join us at the GBC on Monday all day for an intensive, detectivesque, and sophisticated hunt (we're gonna wait for that fool and mob on him).

- Berkeley really isn't an antithetical opposite of New Haven; it's just a cali-fied reality struck by an oriental wave.

- Maybe someday I'll even understand what I just wrote. (??)

- John Woo's "The Killer" is some brutal shit.

Super short blog today, in light of the fact that I have not slept in over 46 hours.

I'm painfully impressed to note that I have racked up yet another misdemeanor today, which brings the grand total to one convicted felony, one tried felony, three convicted misdemeanors, and one infraction. On the brighter side, the crimes seem to be alleviating each year, and by next year, hopefully it will be no bigger than a littering or jay-walking ticket.

Thank you, Jerry, for all your driving and company. That shit was harsh yo.

Thank you also, Ryan and Myung, for a great party at The Glas Kat. That shit was off the hook, nahm sayn? Happy Birthday, y'all.

Excuse me now, while I pass out.

This is quick, fun reading. So read it, don't be lazy. Courtesy of Wayne.

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Destination from tomorrow to the following Sunday: New Haven, New York, San Francisco, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Palo Alto, Berkeley, Lake Tahoe, Reno. Hence, in light of the trip, this blog will run dry for a bit. Please keep checking it, however, as I am trying to rack up more hits than Stanley.

My patience has been running low lately for the ignorance and stubborn-mindedness of this traditionally-rooted institution, which apparently, refuses to delve into any sort of music that doesn't carry a tonal melody - specifically, anything post-Brahms. On a completely random note, I think I'm gonna take a History of Jazz and History of American Music class next year, coincidentally taught by the same prof.

Sorry for the boring blog. I'm packing.

More retarded viola jokes for the musically nerdtarded, courtesy of Guson. Viola jokes are the same as violin jokes, obviously - just a fifth lower. HAHA. ok.

Q: What is the difference between a violist and a prostitute?
A: 1. A prostitute knows more than two positions.
2. Prostitutes have a better sense of rhythm.

Q: What is the similarity between a violist and a prostitute?
A: Both are paid to fake climaxes.

Q: Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
A: All those positions!

Q: What is the definition of a cluster chord?
A: A viola section playing on the C string.

You don't have to read the whole thing - just fastforward to the last few lines. The rest of it is for context.

CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:04:45 AM): many would argue that 'heart of darkness' is way more avant garde than schoenbergs pierott lunaire
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:04:56 AM): would you agree?
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:09 AM): music - we are just not trying hard enough
psykogeoff (2:05:10 AM): i doubt it
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:11 AM): that was his point
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:20 AM): the education in literature is all there
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:24 AM): but music education is nowhere!
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:28 AM): the public never receives it!
psykogeoff (2:05:29 AM): heart of darkness is more like a coda of a tchaikovsky symphony
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:38 AM): everybody who graduates from high school knows who joseph conrad is
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:42 AM): but few know who schoenberg is
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:05:58 AM): music education is dead as dead
psykogeoff (2:05:59 AM): or wagner for that matter
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:06:03 AM): yeah
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:06:08 AM): THAT is what needs to change
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:07:20 AM): tomassini wrote a very inspiring article for the times this last summer
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:07:30 AM): about 20th century music
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:07:49 AM): and he said, he still doens't really understand....the new avant garde shows on broadway are the talk of the town
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:08:01 AM): the newest contemporary novels are always the best sellers on nybooks
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:08:07 AM): like 'beloved'
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:08:19 AM): however, with MUSIC, it's always about the latest performance of mahler 5
psykogeoff (2:08:56 AM): yo
psykogeoff (2:08:58 AM): send me more porn
CA r LOCO 6 9 (2:09:19 AM): ok

SIGH

A'ight, perhaps I miss you too, Meredith. But only a little bit, you gayass.

Cb884: damn dood i miss you
Cb884: =P
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahhahahh FAG!
Cb884: this is fuckin nostalgic n shit
Cb884: yeah im hella girl aiight
Cb884: the girly side has to come out sometimes...cant be a fuckin OG all the time
Cb884: hahaha
CA r LOCO 6 9: yeah except if you're me, in which case you are perpetually OG
CA r LOCO 6 9: WUT

If anybody out there has any clue as to what Pearl Jam is saying in "Yellow Ledbetter", please IM me. The music is great.....if only I knew what the fuck they were talking about.

Tyler, on Mahler 1. The third movement of Mahler Symphony No. 1, for you non-classical musicians, is based exactly on the "Frere Jacque" or the "Are you Sleeping" nursery rhyme, albeit in minor.

Part 1:
T MuZiKnerd (6:13:08 PM): carlos, i have prepared a little song for you, to the tune of 3rd mvt of mahler 1
T MuZiKnerd (6:13:37 PM): 'I am single, I am single, must get laid, must get laid, all i want is a girlfriend, all i want is a girlfriend, for a maid, for a maid'

Part 2:
T MuZiKnerd: i'm not trynna be a 'playa'
T MuZiKnerd: trynna get the right girl, tho
CA r LOCO 6 9: that's the better goal anyway
T MuZiKnerd: i know... but you can't get the right girl if you can't get A girl
CA r LOCO 6 9: that's profound
T MuZiKnerd: no... actually... it SUCKS

Now I not only know a) why Tyler does not have a girlfriend, but also b) the suitability and appropriateness of his screenname.

Me and Dave, on girls.

CA r LOCO 6 9: did you hook up with her?!?!
Divadjj: nope
CA r LOCO 6 9: why no hookup you vagina man?
Divadjj: u know jerrry and I talked about u the other day
Divadjj: u always tell us to bang chicks/hook up
Divadjj: but then we look at u
Divadjj: and u are such a sweetie to a point where u are like a gentleman
Divadjj: so my point is
Divadjj: U ARE THE FAG
Divadjj: shit, u put up this image of player
Divadjj: like bang that chick
Divadjj: hook up with her
Divadjj: but then we look at u
Divadjj: u are married
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahahhaha fuck
CA r LOCO 6 9: you're right
Divadjj: but fool, u just trying to cover it up...
Divadjj: hahhaha
Divadjj: its all good
Divadjj: but yea, anyway, i didn;t hook up with her
CA r LOCO 6 9: oh...
CA r LOCO 6 9: VAGINA-MAN!

Although I know you have all undoubtedly scene this many times, I thought I might refresh your memory and give you a good laugh.

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britney_breasts.asp

I took a music-identification test on Guson's AIM profile today that offered a free Palo Alto dinner to the first person with the right answer. On achieving this honor:

CA r LOCO 6 9: the first two lines match the clarinet solo of prokofieff 3rd piano concerto
GoOoSeBot: do they now
CA r LOCO 6 9: wait
CA r LOCO 6 9: it IS the prokofieff 3rd
GoOoSeBot: lol
GoOoSeBot: right you are
GoOoSeBot: hahahahahahaha
CA r LOCO 6 9: DINNER!
GoOoSeBot: LOL
GoOoSeBot: bitch!
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahhahahhaha
GoOoSeBot: dammit dude i need CHICKS to get the answer!
GoOoSeBot: CHICKS!

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't really like eating fish and I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

-Britney Spears, on travel, courtesy of Wayne

One day, as I was continuing my habitual search for enlightenment (via Google, of course), I stumbled across the closest thing to it:

"G-Funk was not introduced as a unified philosophy (as with Dre's idol, Nietzsche) but, like Marxism, grew from repeating themes expounded in work within earlier movements. The innermost chamber of the G-Funk labyrinth is the definition of the G-Thang. We're given many examples of G-Thangs in the early work (busting, getting paid, toking without choking, etc.), but Dre seemed to shy away from a formal definition, perhaps relying on the Cubist epigram, "Life ain't nothing but bitches and money."

Logic: Rational (Try to get up close, and your ass get smacked.)

Aesthetics: Independent, anti-sacred (We don't love them hos.)

Ethics: Situational (We ain't asking for shit, nigga, we taking it.)

Epistemology: Solipsistic Empiricism (But that's the life of a G, I guess // Ese's way deep, shanked two in they chest)"

Results of the Musical Eclecticity Test. Only a few people took it, here are the answers.

1. Name 5 Non-Black Rappers
Brad: Eminem, Vanilla Ice, Adrock, MC, Mike D
Naoya: Eminem, Vanilla Ice, Drunken Tiger, Jin, MC Sniper, Jinusean
Pete: I protest. This question is racially biased.
Other answers: MC Hot Dog (Chinese rapper, thank you Stan), Yoo Seung Jun, 1 Tym, Marky Mark, Weird Al

2. Name 5 composers born between 1809 - 1815
Wayne: Chopin, Liszt, Mendelssohn, Wagner, Berlioz
Naoya: Chopin, Liszt

3. Name 5 Korean Pop-Stars
Naoya: H.O.T, Yoo Seung Jun, G.O.D, Finkl, Shinhwa, 1 Tym

4. Name 3 Blind Musicians
Pete: Stevie Wonder, Marcus Roberts, Ray Charles, Blind Lemon Jefferson

5. Name 4 Hungarian Composers
Wayne: Liszt, Bartok, Dohnanyi, Kodaly
Brad: I'm Hungary.....for some ass

6. Name 3 Musicians with last names of 3 letters or less
Wayne: Emmanuel Ax, Yo-yo Ma, Cho Liang Lin, Joseph Suk
Brad: Vanessa Mae, Madonna, Cher, Midori

7. Name 3 Skratch DJs
Nobody got this one.
Answer: DJ Qbert, DJ Revolution, DJ Rectangle

8. Name 3 Jewish singers
Pete: Barbara Streisand, Art Garunkel, Paul Simon, Weird Al, The Beastie Boys
Wayne: Michael Feinstein, Glenn Dicterow (apparently, he sings during violin lessons)

9. Name 3 Trip-Hop Groups
Brad: I don't know this one, but I do know that Geoff Chang likes little boys.
Answer: Massive Attack, Portishead, Tricky

From the same people that brought you Ladder Theory, here's "On Fur Elise": (This is a little taste for those of you who are too lazy to click the link. For the more blog-faithful, the link is at the bottom.)

Well we know that Beethoven was notriously grumpy. He was also the greatest musical genius to ever live. That of course is a value judgment,and if you disagree with it you are a terrorist.

So the real question is not how well he wrote for the human voice(quite), or if he was a manic-depressive(no), or why he and Haydn didn't get along(who gives a shit?) but how much did he get laid? I say a lot and here's why:

Now, this will seem like pure conjecture now, but I am confident that when scholars get around to reading some of those old diaries that everyone seems to have kept in the 18th century so some humanities major can get their Ph.D. they will discover that Beethoven had that piece for many years before its now officially recognized publication date.

Why did he never make it public?

Because he used it to score more pussy than a bonobo.

Julie: "Hello, Mr. Beethoven, what's that?"
Beethoven: "Oh, just a little piece I'm working on. And please, call me Ludwig."
Julie(nervously): "It's beautiful. What's is it called?"
Beethoven: "I was thinking of calling it 'Fur Julie'"
Julie(blushing madly): "Oh Beethoven,really....?"
Beethoven: "Absolutely. Here let me show you the first notes. Come sit next to me..."

Please read more at: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/beethoventheory.html. Thank you, Wayne.

"The CIA? The CIA can't even find Saddam Hussein. You tell any black woman in 'Jersey that her man been sleepin' with Saddam, she'll find him by 8pm."

-taken from the worst action movie ever. Good quote tho.

"If your life is full of moments, you'll never know you had one."

The Baker's Wife, from Into The Woods, now on Broadway starring Vanessa Williams

Stanley and I have decided that the advent of blogging, previously known to the world of AIM as the temporarily-remedial cure for anxiety-struck-low-self-esteemed-college-aZn-gurlZzz, has been elevated to a new satirical level by us; the midnight-bloggers. Furthermore, all you blogging sluts ain't shit but bitches and ho's, and y'all gotsta learn sooner or later to bow down to the Los and the Leemur. When I read your blogs, I am instantantly overcome by a sudden urge to vomit, fart, and rim a goat, all at the same time.

A Sample Blog:
mMmmMm, I took advil today because i felt sick. mY baY-beE guRL made me some pie today. it was yuUMmY in my tuUMmY. i woke up at 8am for my 9am class today, and then i hit the snooze button. then i hit the snooze button again after 5 minutes. then after 10 minutes, i hit the snooze button again. finally, i hit the snooze button a 4th time. then I actually went to class. yAY for meEEee~~! after i went to class, i came home and did homework, and i chewed on some of those biscuits. i swear i eat too much. me n liZa watched an episode of real world. LUV yA guRL! chattin' with aZnhOttiE and hUnniEdOve right now though. write more later! *hug*

Movie reviews:

CA r LOCO 6 9: what is it girls see in beauty and the beast
CA r LOCO 6 9: and not aladdin
CA r LOCO 6 9: i don't get it
peterlsb: yeah no contest for me
CA r LOCO 6 9: jeff likes beauty better too
peterlsb: wait wait
peterlsb: jeff likes beauty and the best better?!?
peterlsb: tell him to go home and wash out his pussy dude
CA r LOCO 6 9: remember, he's the guy who doesn't like any action flicks
CA r LOCO 6 9: he's like ploom
CA r LOCO 6 9: i bet ploom likes beauty better too
peterlsb: ploom likes action, but he has higher standards
CA r LOCO 6 9: fuck that
CA r LOCO 6 9: standards and shit
CA r LOCO 6 9: standards are for fags!
peterlsb: preach on brother, preach on

Jeff defends himself:

j m 2 c a l: that shit is fucking cute dude
j m 2 c a l: dude if the beast had a fucking genie and a flying carpet i'm sure he woulda gotten belle way earlier
j m 2 c a l: ALADDIN had a fucking FLYING CARPET and could get ANY WISH
j m 2 c a l: and he still only BARELY got the chi ck
j m 2 c a l: the beast looked like that chick from unit 1
CA r LOCO 6 9: fool, he had her nailed, from the very beginning
j m 2 c a l: and he stilllll got belle
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahhahah
CA r LOCO 6 9: i give you that
j m 2 c a l: the only thing that aladdin had working against him was that his freakin race is al quaida and shit

Epilogue; Pete concedes:

peterlsb: ok, maybe he doesnt have to wash out his pussy, but still if you had the choice, which you wanna watch
peterlsb: has to be aladdin

A new member has earned his entry into my blog. Funny stuff.

T MuZiKnerd: DUDE, for the magic flute we're doing next weekend, the concertmistress is tall fine asian that goes to ucla!!
T MuZiKnerd: 'hi, i'm tyler, i don't know your name, but i couldnt' help notice the sensual way you operate your instrument...'
T MuZiKnerd: why do you think i want an asian wife?
T MuZiKnerd: that way she can beat my kid to practice

The Blog War is officially over. I won.

naryantek: haha ive been milking you this entire time for more homogayness tendencies
naryantek: your blog ass is fried BITCH. watch me.
CA r LOCO 6 9: doh
CA r LOCO 6 9: i keep forgetting we're at war
CA r LOCO 6 9: your best friend can be your most homosexual enemy
naryantek: damn this is no fun
naryantek: its too easy now
naryantek: like wehen eminem dogs on himself before the other dude can
CA r LOCO 6 9: i know, like i said
CA r LOCO 6 9: how you gonna make homo-war on a man who's come to terms with his faghagness?
CA r LOCO 6 9: give up, biatch - accept defeat
naryantek: damn this sucks
naryantek: blog wars over then
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahahHahhahAHha VICTORY!

Dang, I'm such a comedian.

Waaaayne: the clintons shopped for a house about a block from dicterow's
Waaaayne: thomas paine's old house was 2 blocks from dicterow's
CA r LOCO 6 9: goddamn
CA r LOCO 6 9: that's why dicterow has so much common sense
CA r LOCO 6 9: HAHA
CA r LOCO 6 9: that was one of my better ones

Continued from last post...
Unproveable extrapolation for the curiousity of the intellect: If Beethoven never went deaf, would he still have written such great music? Likewise, if Eminem was born black, would he still be as great of a rapper?
Keep in mind that the former derived insanity from the absence of sound-abstraction, just as the latter derived anger/inspiration from the color of his skin...

So. After finally experiencing the hype...what can I say?

It's refreshing to begin the first mile with the articulate lyricism of pre-East-West Biggie and finish the 8th mile with the emotional intensity of just-before-Vegas Pac, granted the movie still managed to pull off crazy reviews with retardo names like Lickity Split, Bunny Rabbit, Papa Doc, and Future. It's a different side of the massively-mega-maniacal Em that constantly drives his image from Einstein-at-the-mic to homophobic-fanatic; here he's a nervous, uncontainably-vomiting piece of pity, a victim of project-Detroit on the wrong side of the race-line.

Bear with me, but the most apt comparison I can even think to find regarding Eminem battling the rap-world, is Beethoven. (WTF?) Yeah. Beethoven. As in Ludwig Van. Think about it.

For the musicians out there: Why is Beethoven great? As a musician, we never think twice, that yes, in fact - Beethoven was deaf! To the rest of the popular-non-classically-educated world, the genius of Beethoven is as such: he's a great composer, cuz he was deaf - he couldn't even hear the shit he was composing and it was still pretty decent, right? Well for the classical musicians, nobody gives a second thought to the fact that he was deaf. Most of us even forget that he even WAS deaf. He was just great. Genius. Deaf or not. Period.

For the hip-hop elite: It's similar, if not completely parallel. Why is Eminem great? Certainly not because he's white, and for the majority of the time we listen to his rhymes, most of us forget that he even IS white. He thrives off his talent. Genius. White or not. Period.

Y'all think I'm on crack now. Fuck you. Just think about it. Beethoven : Deaf = Eminem : White. Rekhanize, bitch.

Dissecting the taste of a musical eclecticist, as dictated by both recreation and obligation (for class). Perhaps the final stage of Buddhist enlightenment as interpreted from a musical standpoint: when the line between recreation and obligation disappears.

Prokofieff - Piano Concerto No. 2 (Obligation, though it began once upon a time as recreation)
Super Sax - Lover Man (Obligation, Music 503a, homework)
Charlie Parker - Thrivin' on a Riff (Obligation, dictation exam, that's fucking hard)
Eminem - Kids (Obviously recreation, though I suggest if you haven't already, you convert this into obligation)
William Bolcolm - Graceful Ghost Rag (Obligation, lesson on Monday)
Milstein playing Bach - Violin Sonata No. 3 (Recreation, albeit a respectul type of recreation, and only for Wayne's sake)
DJ Revolution - In 12s We Trust (Recreation, chillin' music)
Simon and Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence (Recreation, ever since Stan reinspired me)
The Beatles - Baby You Can Drive My Car (Recreation, good 'ol rock n' roll)

Anybody got any Trip Hop for me? I'm fiending some. Particularly some Portishead, Tricky, or Massive Attack.

I've been examining my blog lately. It's constantly dominated by fad-induced at-the-moment obsessions, be it Eminem, Vin Diesel, how gay Stanley is, or some type of music thought. Anyway, after diverging for awhile with Vin Diesel and how gay Stanley is, I am now officially back to 8 mile.

I couldn't help it. I only watched a little. Just like 20 minutes. Finish the quote:

I know this girl/
Name is lih-LEE/
It's past her bed-
T-I-M-E./
She goes to sleep./
She can just dream/
Not have to be/
In a stinky trailer with me/
So when I feel blue/
Don't know what to do/
I look at you/
And i just say/
__________

An excerpt from Stanleys blog: THIS MEANS BLOG WAR, BITCH.

CARLOS AVILA IS GAY.
HIS HOME ADDRESS IS 3790 ROSS RD. PALO ALTO, CA 94303.
HIS CELL PHONE NUMBER IS: (203) 887-3147, PLEASE CALL HIM TO MAKE FUN OF HIM.


CA r LOCO 6 9: who do you think would win
CA r LOCO 6 9: vin diesel vs. ving rhames
naryantek: diesel fool
CA r LOCO 6 9: no way!
CA r LOCO 6 9: did you say baby boy faggot?
CA r LOCO 6 9: OMG
CA r LOCO 6 9: he's BUTT NAKED in baby boy, he has a PERFECT SIX PACK
CA r LOCO 6 9: they look like BALLOONS
CA r LOCO 6 9: there is not an ounce of fat on his body
CA r LOCO 6 9: his pecks look like helium balloons
CA r LOCO 6 9: and his abs look like those kiddy balloons
CA r LOCO 6 9: he has the most impressive body i've seen tho
CA r LOCO 6 9: you only know when he's butt naked
CA r LOCO 6 9: and he has "50 niggaz" tatted on his chest
naryantek: ok stop before u incriminate yourself
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahahhah too late fool
naryantek: alright this shits getting posted
naryantek: fool watch how gay i can make u sond
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahahhaha
CA r LOCO 6 9: you can't use that against me anymore
CA r LOCO 6 9: i've already come to grips with my faghagness
CA r LOCO 6 9: i embrace homosexuality, BIATCH
CA r LOCO 6 9: WUT
CA r LOCO 6 9: BRING IT
naryantek: yo dude
naryantek: whats your cell number again
CA r LOCO 6 9: 203 887 3147
CA r LOCO 6 9: EH
CA r LOCO 6 9: WTF ARE YOU DOING
CA r LOCO 6 9: why you need my number BIATCH
CA r LOCO 6 9: EH

Conversations I have with Stanley, continued:

naryantek: dude freaking alice jocks vin diesel i think
CA r LOCO 6 9: yo
CA r LOCO 6 9: now you know you have a normal girlfriend
naryantek: HAHAHHAA
naryantek: yeah before she sed that, i always thot something was off about her but i couldnt quite put my finger on it
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahhahahhaha
naryantek: same thing with you, i always thot u were somewhat strange, until u told me u jocked vin diesel

Due to popular request, I have posted the following conversation with my mother.

charcoalj: i went to gunn
car LOCO 6 9: why?
charcoalj: saw dick-lawrence
charcoalj: back to school
car LOCO 6 9: oh yeah? and?
charcoalj: i couldnt help it-i had to approach the motherfucker
car LOCO 6 9: and?
charcoalj: u could see-he was phony-pretending like-he didnt know me-that piece of shit
charcoalj: then i said-i am the mother of carlos
charcoalj: i know that0-but he pretended again like he doesntknow=that asshole
charcoalj: .and before i turned around
charcoalj: i said-"he is not a gangster-you knowthat"
car LOCO 6 9: wow
car LOCO 6 9: you said that?
charcoalj: damn MOTHERFUCKER
charcoalj: I TURNED AROUND AND LEFT
car LOCO 6 9: holy shit
car LOCO 6 9: good for you
charcoalj: i want to have the last word
charcoalj: i dont have to hear no shit from him
charcoalj: next time-i get a chance to see cooke-i will bake her
charcoalj: somepeople-"i will never forgive and forget"
charcoalj: for the pain and the anguish they caused me
car LOCO 6 9: now that it's out of your system, i can live my life
car LOCO 6 9: hahahha
charcoalj: really-before i just keep telling u to let it go and forget it
charcoalj: but somethings-u need to shove it up their ass
charcoalj: then feed it to them
car LOCO 6 9: hahhahahahah
charcoalj: fucking shit
car LOCO 6 9: well put
car LOCO 6 9: well put

Man Humor with Jerry:

jrey77 wants to send file speg.jpg.
jrey77: dude that's her dog looks like
CA r LOCO 6 9: jpeg of dog?
jrey77: yea
jrey77: check it
CA r LOCO 6 9 received F:\Documents and Settings\user\Desktop\speg.jpg.
CA r LOCO 6 9: oh shit
CA r LOCO 6 9: thass mad cute
jrey77: i know what you're thinking, FAG.. "AWWWWWWWWWW"
jrey77: thas rite
CA r LOCO 6 9: EH
CA r LOCO 6 9: FUCK YOU

I'm a disgrace to the democratic party. I can't stand myself. I never forget to vote. Never. What the fuck is wrong with me.

Never really realized how much I depend on my girlfriend.

Good Pete Hunting.

CA r LOCO 6 9: remember that story robin williams tells about carlton fisk and game 6 of the world series
CA r LOCO 6 9: and how he actually didn't go cuz he had to see about a girl?
peterlsb: yeah
CA r LOCO 6 9: after the giants experience last week, would you do the same?
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahhaha
peterlsb: girls, they come and go, but baseball, baseball is 4 LIFE!

I've fallen in love with Vin Diesel. Watch "Knockaround Guys".

Vin Diesel: 500 fights? That's the number I figure when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you can consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience - to develop leather skin. That's how I got started. 'Course along the way, you stop thinking about being tough and all that; it starts being the point. You get past the silliness of it all.

But then, --strips off his jacket to reveal wife beater, star of David tattoo, and enormous muscular breasts-- after, you realize that's what you are. I tell you, you learn a lot of things on your way to 500. None more important than this.

--Proceeds to whoop ass--

I know this seems like a pain but it's worth it. Click the link, go down to the left where it says Man of the Month: Lindin Vu and click there. Then go to the bottom where it says "Fight Club??" and read the story and watch the clip. I've done some crazy shit in my time, but never as insane or as clever as this.

http://www.jonathank.net/

peterlsb: damn, i dont think i could straight deck a friend like that
CA r LOCO 6 9: hahahhaha i could deck you dude if you asked me to, it'd be a sign of brotherly love
peterlsb: hahaha fuck you
CA r LOCO 6 9: LOSvorkian

Oh they say a black man is a pimp. Well lemme tell you the biggest pimp on planet muthafuckin' earth....is her mama. Is her mama that told her, "get a man with a good job, girl. Make sure he got a good car, girl. Make sure he can take you out and buy you something, girl." What happened to just fallin' in love with a nigga with a bus pass? Just cuz you loved the nigga! But I'M the pimp muthafucka; I gotta be the playa. Biggest ho's on planet Earth are walkin' through the muthafuckin' neighborhood. You KNEW when you got with the nigga he already had a woman, you knew he already had a family. But ya FUCKED HIM anyway. And then when you thought you was gonna lose the nigga, you went and got pregnant. DIDN'T YA, BITCH? DIDN'T YA? The old keep-the-nigga baby. And then when the nigga ain't around, what do you tell the child? "Oh that nigga ain't shit, that's why yo daddy ain't here. Cuz that nigga ain't shit." How about bein' a woman, and tellin' the nigga the truth? That yo mama...you was a HO! Tell the kid! "Mama was a ho! I was weak gettin' pussy. I had you to keep the nigga. It didn't work out. That's why he ain't here. But he a good nigga. Cuz he take care of his real family. I was just a dumb bitch. Tryin' to keep the nigga that i wanted."

If you can name where this came from, you have my ultimate respect.

After receiving this email from Steve's brother a long time ago, it became clear and apparant to me why Steve is how he is....

I don't think you's a achondroplasic, anencephalous troglodyte. I like's your daily billet-doux [love letter]. And I support your mass mailings no matter how much they taste
like spam... which by the way is the most widely consumed luncheon meat in America since the 1930's.

Just keep on keepin on! Those retrousse [with an upturned nose] few with email automysophobia [fear of getting dirty] are forever doomed to anautarchia [perpetual
unhappiness]. We'll just give em a virtual kick in the doodlesack [bagpipes], less they don galligaskins [loose, baggy pants]. Perhaps then, they will understand the call of
our puissant [powerful, mighty] empire of philately [love of tax-free things] post.

Your supportive bro,
-D

Brainteaser from Gene:

sExYnAhMjA: can you answer this?
sExYnAhMjA: you, me, and ken stop at a motel
sExYnAhMjA: we want to save money so we get one room and split the cost
sExYnAhMjA: guy says it's $30
sExYnAhMjA: so we each pay 10
sExYnAhMjA: then the bellboy comes in and says the manager fucked up and it's really $25
sExYnAhMjA: so he gives us $5 back
sExYnAhMjA: since we can split $5 equally
sExYnAhMjA: we each get $1
sExYnAhMjA: and give $2 to the bellboy
sExYnAhMjA: since we each paid $10 and we get $1 back, it's $9 each
sExYnAhMjA: times 3 is $27
sExYnAhMjA: bellboy get $2
sExYnAhMjA: that's $29
sExYnAhMjA: where's the other dollar?

Painful discoveries: I love Ned Rorem. I love Yefim Bronfman. However.
Ned Rorem's Piano Sonata No. 2.....SUCKS.
Yefim Bronfman's Brahms Piano Concerto No. 1.....SUCKS.

After watching "Best in Show", Ryo, Akiko and I had a brilliant idea of making a parallel mockumentary of the piano competition-circuit. Examine the stereotypical possibilities:

The Korean chick from Juilliard: Spouting random babbles of "unyee" and listening only to fervent k-pop in competition lobbies on her disc-man while studying her score of Beethoven's Opus. 109.
The Russian chick from Moscow: speaking rudely in thick russian accents and drinking endless amounts of triple-shotted espressos.
The White stoner from USC: Constantly under the influence and immensely talented with little or no work ethic.
The Chinese boy with his mother: Only able to put one foot forward in front of the other with the permission of his domineering and competitively driven insano mother.
The Fogi competition veteran: A long-time veteran and 12-time 2nd place winner of numerous competitions, the veteran can be of any race, but is usually scarred from years of 2nd place prizes.
The Curtis kid: See "Chinese boy with his mother", but add the knowledge and perfection of all the Chopin Etudes. Generally, has never heard the names "Tupac Shakur" or "George Bush", unless either of the two, at some point, had a distant relation to Vladimir Horowitz.

A homeboy is for life.

I just saw "Best in Show" - probably one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life. Watch it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Along with this, the franchise has become too advanced for its own good. Gone is the grandeur of seeing the giant ships powering through space and in place of the slick, textured feel of chrome vessels. The realness is gone and has been replaced with pretty pictures that are hollow and meaningless. Star Wars now seems much too wrapped up in creating an attractive world than it is in telling a compelling story. The pretty actors walk around saying air-headed things and delivering lines much like 4x4s would. Though you can't really blame the actors, as they haven't been given much to work with here and thusly haven't been able to create memorable characters. New characters like Qui-Gon Jing, Mace Windu and Jar Jar Binks are forgettable at best and murderous rage-inducing at worst. This all contributes to the franchise turning into a shallow-yet-pretty thing whose success can only be contributed to the adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

The magic is gone, the love is gone and the wonder is gone. With this franchise more than any other, it is truly a sad thing, seeing as how many people it touched. At the very least, we know that we can always go back and watch the first trilogy and enjoy how much fun they were.

MAY GOD BE MERCIFUL AND GIVE ME PEACE BY NEVER GIVING ME A DAUGHTER

CA r LOCO 6 9: people like me and you - grades fuck us up dude
peterlsb: hahahaha for sure man, for sure
peterlsb: i like how you put it
peterlsb: rather than saying we fuck up grades...