Inspired simultaneously and erratically by the blog thoughts of both Stanley Lee and Ned Rorem.

Dec 11, 2002

Please read this. If you don't laugh, you must have been dropped on your head as a child. Thanks, Justin.

Dear Abby :

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.

My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred ... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling.

He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.

Abby, should I tell my fiance what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character?


Or, should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

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