A list of the most badass people ever to walk the cinema:

1. Chen Zhen
2. Tequila Yuen
3. The Terminator
4. Jack Bauer
5. Jason Bourne
6. Chief Inspector Lee
7. Sarah Connor
8. Ellen Ripley

Stanley has been compiling a list of perverted movie titles for the past few days. Below are some of the more clever ones. For the full list, please see www.leemur.blogspot.com

Masterbatuer and Cockmannder : Far Side of the Whore
In Diana Jones
A.I. : Anal Intrusion
Black Cock Down
The Rodfather
Deep InPacked
Bending Over Beckham
Moulin Splooge
When Harry Ate Sally
Apoclimax Now
The Whole Nine Inches
Beauty and the Beastiality
Anal Management
Wet Dreams May Come

Inspired by the thoughts of Jeff, www.myung.org.

The learning process is too much of a gradual realization for the present to maintain a healthy velocity - too often, it is too late. Writing keeps the mind in check.

Is a perpetually-changing status quo even a status quo? Friendships and relationships are based on familiarity and routine, yet the stability of routine is too unstable, and the familiarity of routine too unfamiliar. Ex: Remember that friend you used to do everything with for over 3 months, but now you doubt if you'll even ever speak again? Can you ever really predict who is going to be temporary, and who is going to be forever? 

It is weird for me to think that by the end of this coming school year, I will have been at Yale for as long as I was at Berkeley. Have I made as many lifelong relationships? Will Yale ever be as close to my life as Berkeley is/was? 

"3) always see the silver lining
a) There is a lot of fucked up shit in this world, but you should always try to maintain a global perspective. There are a few times when you are allowed to show pain and anger, but you should really save yourself for those bigger events … eg death of a loved one. Try to find the significance of an event in the grand picture. Maybe receiving that speeding ticket actually will help you avoid a fatal traffic accident in 2 years. Maybe losing 100 bucks at the casino today will prevent you from having a gambling addiction when you have a family. Maybe the heart break you suffered from the breakup will allow you to be a more empathetic lover in the future. Maybe your friend’s shit-talking will make you sharper when you make friendships in the future.If you can gain a life lesson from everything that’s fucked up in your life, you’re that much more equipped to handle tough situations in the future and people will look to you for leadership/strength during those times." - myung

This is a truly deep Kiefer Sutherland "24" addiction if I ever saw one:

j m 2 c a l: gottago
j m 2 c a l: i'm at 4:00PM
j m 2 c a l: i wanna make my clock match up with real time
car LOCO 69: wtf

I'm reinstalling Windows XP at the moment. I had questions as to whether there were any special things I should worry about:

j  m  2  c  a  l: DO NOT let it have ethernet til that firewall is on
j  m  2  c  a  l: and MAKE SURE you do all the updates
car LOCO 69: is it susceptible to a virus in that short an amount of time?
j  m  2  c  a  l: dude, just be extra safe..... treat your computer as you would treat your dick if you were gonna have sex in africa

OK. I GET IT. and later:

car LOCO 69: you've never gotten hit by a virus?
j  m  2  c  a  l: never
car LOCO 69: damn
j  m  2  c  a  l: i'm on the pill man

If all the text in mine and Stan's blog (www.leemur.blogspot.com) were compiled into a book - it would be:

380 pages (large print, standard size)
217 pages (stadard print, standard paperback)
126 pages (standard size/print, hardcover academic textbook)
76 pages (small print, encyclopedia-size reference book)

This, of course, does not take into consideration the duplicate entries, for which there are a few.

There's right, there's left, and there's vogue:

car LOCO 69: yo but andrea thinks john edwards is cute
car LOCO 69: that's good game
jrey77: yea he is cute
jrey77: almost hot

This is not a joke. After all the joking we've done about "The Porn Identity," turns out Matt Damon thought of it first:

Of course Damon's point is, if you're going to reinvent yourself as an action star, then, do so in a less than ordinary fashion, referring to The Bourne Supremacy that he feels takes the genre onto a new level. But if he fails as an action hero, Damon says he can always take porn onto a new level. ""What I want to do is a character-driven porn movie!  It's all going to be about the characters and the porn's going to grow out of the characters and it's going to serve as character development.  Perhaps, he adds, maybe he'll end up starring in The Porn Identity!

source: www.filmmonthly.com/Profiles/Articles/ MDamonBourneSupremacy/MDamonBourneSupremacy.html

Chauvinism, apparently, spans the sexual-orientation spectrum of men regardless of preference. In response to Kirsten Dunst from Spiderman 2:

Carlos (straight): Bitch, stop fuckin' talking and take your pants off already.
Jeff (gay): Bitch, stop fuckin' talking and take his pants off already.

SUPPORT JEROME. LSATS FOR ASS! ('rome has an agreement with his girlfriend. he gets a 177 on the LSATS, then he gets some)

naryantek: i had to explain to alice once the bright side
naryantek: at least it doesnt get any raunchier than our group of friends
car LOCO 69: HAHAHAHA
car LOCO 69: i'm sure she found that comforting dude
naryantek: we're pretty much as gross as it gets i think
naryantek: i think she rolled her eyes
car LOCO 69: well i always think so too right
car LOCO 69: until we meet up with jerome
car LOCO 69: then i'm like
car LOCO 69: damn we ain't even skimmed the surface dawg
naryantek: HHAHAHHAHAHhaAHc
ar LOCO 69: hahahhahah
car LOCO 69: i mean that fool testin' out right now for ASS
car LOCO 69: i wonder if he'll nail that 177
naryantek: support JEROME
naryantek: LSATS FOR ASS
car LOCO 69: for sho fo sho

Stan and I were discussing the G-spot the other day when all of a sudden we stumbled across an educational site: www.findthegspot.com. Try it.

naryantek: i like the last page
naryantek: Can I make you some breakfast? Would you like a beer? How about a blow job? That's O.K. Baby, you can watch the football game while I satisfy you. Anything for my BIG Daddy.
naryantek: HAHAhahahahaHAHA
car LOCO 69: hahAHAHH
car LOCO 69: Keep your cursor out of my ass dipshit.
Now go back and try again. If you keep treating me like this, you won't find the g spot. If you don't find the g-spot, I won't orgasm. If I don't orgasm, you won't orgasm ever again.
naryantek: HAHAHHAhahhahaA
naryantek: omg blog worthy

Stan has the perfect idea:

car LOCO 69: 24 is like action/suspense on crack
car LOCO 69: cuz of the real time thing
car LOCO 69: the real time thing is fucking crazy
naryantek: imagine if they had a '24' of porn
car LOCO 69: HAHAHAH
naryantek: could u last?
car LOCO 69: HAHAHHhhaha
naryantek: its like 24 real time
naryantek: of FUCKING

IT'S A BIG YEAR. For those of you pianists who read my blog, I've compiled the application deadlines of all the next major international competitions out there coming up. Don't miss them:
 
deadlines:
rubinstein - 9/1/2004
marguerite-long - 9/1/2004
viotti - 9/3/2004
beethoven - 9/30/2004
hilton head - 10/1/2004
cliburn - 10/15/2004
shreveport - 10/24/2004
santander - 10/30/2004
zaragosa - 10/2004
london - 12/1/2004
liszt - 12/10/2004
epinal - 1/1/2005
cleveland - 1/1/2005

This is why I love Roger Ebert (regarding the new King Arthur movie):

I would have liked to see deeper characterizations and more complex dialogue, as in movies like "Braveheart" or "Rob Roy," but today's multiplex audience, once it has digested a word like Sarmatia, feels its day's work is done.

They even keep straight faces in the last shot, as the camera audaciously pulls back to reveal Stonehenge. That gives audience members a choice; they can think (a) "A-ha! So that explains Stonehenge!" or (b) "What a cheap shot to use Stonehenge as a location when it has nothing to do with anything," or (c) "What's that?"

This makes sense, if you know Steve Chiang:

i dont understand this guy:

drungken munk ee (7:34:48 PM): alright, lemme approximate some R, matey.
drungken munk ee (7:35:17 PM): when i take breaks from homework, i end up making up riddles and puns with my variables and functions.
naryantek (7:35:32 PM): thats probably the geekiest thing ive ever heard
drungken munk ee (7:35:47 PM): in numerical analysis, you can really talk like a pirate, 'cuz you work with the R-variable a lot.
naryantek (7:36:04 PM): theres a guy on our team dressed like a pirate??
drungken munk ee (7:36:34 PM): and i noticed that finite-iteration on g using newton's method can be abbreviated FIG Newton.
naryantek (7:37:00 PM): lol
drungken munk ee (7:37:06 PM): or guess how we denote the standard error of x...
drungken munk ee (7:37:06 PM): SE(x)
naryantek (7:37:17 PM): omg im audi
naryantek (7:37:27 PM): piz-nates
drungken munk ee (7:37:46 PM): no, wait! there's more!
drungken munk ee (7:37:46 PM): stay! you know you want it!
drungken munk ee (7:37:47 PM): you yearn for it!
drungken munk ee (7:37:47 PM): hunger!
drungken munk ee (7:37:47 PM): hunger!
drungken munk ee (7:37:51 PM): blub blub blub.
drungken munk ee signed off at 7:37:55 PM.

Straight Plagiarism, courtesy of Stanley Lee:

attempt #0:
jrey77: yo do you know a guy named lionel
jrey77: from walnut
naryantek: yeah
naryantek: why
jrey77: oh he's my gf's cousin
naryantek: lionel bao
naryantek: has a little brother named richard?
jrey77: yea haha lioniel richie

attempt #1
naryantek: yeah and i just noticed
naryantek: lionel and richard
naryantek: you guys wouldnt happen to be named after lionel richie would u?
rainthink111: hahah
rainthink111: wtf

attempt #2
kurupt27ls: hey
rainthink111: ?
rainthink111: wut
kurupt27ls: i got something to ask you
rainthink111: ask
kurupt27ls: and u gotta be straight with me
rainthink111: ask
kurupt27ls: aiite?
rainthink111: ask?
kurupt27ls: did your parents really name you and richie after lionel richie?
rainthink111: omg
rainthink111: fag
rainthink111: no
rainthink111: fag....i tabbed out of a sc game so u can ask that gay shit?