My attempt to Eminemize classical music:

You can't phase me
I roll hits like Paul Schenly playin' Kabalevsky
Contemporary, like Tchaikevsky
What y'all wanna do?
Wanna be Horowitz? Bored to bits? In a practice room,
Doing more o' dis?
I don't do scotch music, I don't do Bach music
I do Rach music, I talk music when i walk music
I met a pianist named Liszt who had a wrist and a sore fist,
Pushed the line, became a romantaCIST
Thought he was fine, like a classicist
Met a retarded guy named Brahms with four moms
Thought he was the bomb
But his music sounded like a fire alarm
Hit the beat in the same boat,
But couldn't play a quarter note,
Always wrote in hemiolas,
But never as good as Piazzola,
Always sayin see-i-toldja!