What I am about to say will enrage the in-readers of those who actually dare to pick up those unrewindable piece of medium called books.

I don't think David Sedaris is that great. Yes. I SAID IT. He's not that great. He's ok.

So I just read "Me Talk Pretty One Day". I finished it. It was good. He's funny. But deep down inside, I think he's just a watered down version of Dave Barry, whom I am sure gets lower points already amongst the intellectually homosexual for the sheer fact that he's not gay. Which brings Sedaris to another witty advantage; he's gay. A lot of his humor is "Will and Grace" on a more respectable literary medium, and really nothing else. It's good. Just not great.

I just thought of that after I read this article today by Dave Barry and couldn't stop laughing: http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/5564439.htm

For those too lazy to click the link, I'll paste some here.

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It's tax time. I know this because I'm staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink.

Take, for example, my Keogh Plan. If you're wondering what a Keogh Plan is, the technical answer is: Beats me. All I know is, I have one, and the people who administer it are always sending me Important Tax Information. Here's the first sentence of their most recent letter, which I swear I am not making up:

``Dear David: The IRS has extended the deadline for the restatement of your plan to comply with GUST and various other amendments until, in most instances, September 30, 2003.''

I understand everything in that sentence, up to ''David.'' After that I am lost. Apparently I have until September 30 (in most instances) to get my plan -- no, sorry, the restatement of my plan -- to comply with something (but what?) called ''GUST.'' And of course various other amendments. But how do I do this? And what if I don't?

The letter doesn't make this clear. It does, however, say this: ''You must adopt EGTRRA prior to the end of the plan year beginning in 2002.'' I am, frankly, reluctant to adopt anything called ''EGTRRA,'' which sounds like the name of a giant radioactive chicken that destroys Tokyo.

The thing is, this letter isn't from the Internal Revenue Service (``We're Working To Put You in Jail!''). It's from people on MY side, people who sincerely want to tell me something, probably important, about GUST and EGTRRA. But I won't even try to finish their letter. I'll put it, with all the other tax documents that I do not understand, in a folder marked ''Taxes,'' and I'll mail it to a guy I know named Evan. A few weeks later he'll mail me back a tax return that I will sign and send along to the IRS without reading any part of it, except where it says ``SIGN HERE.''

That's right: I have no idea what my tax return says, even though I'm legally responsible for it. I just have to hope that, when Evan prepares it, he's not in a prankish mood:

IRS AUDITOR: Mr. Barry, can you explain why, on page 27 of your return, stapled to Form 4992, ''Depreciation and Amortization,'' is the thymus gland of an otter?
ME: That's not mine!
IRS AUDITOR: Also, on page 23, you claim, as dependents, and I quote: ``The Entire Cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.''

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