I need all non-pianist musicians (this includes non-major college retirees) who will be residing in the bay area for any part of this summer to contact me. Henry and I are looking for volunteers who want genuine intrinsic joy with no pay. But we guarantee you'll have a great time.

carlos.avila@yale.edu
carlosavila@gmail.com
(203) 887-3147.

MUSICIANS, HIT ME UP.

You know you're Filipino if...

- Your parents always get the letters "P" and "F" confused. (Unportunately, Puck!)
- You point with your lips.
- You get someone's attention with a "psssst!"
- You have 5 pairs of tsinelas (sandals) located outside your front door.
- You're Catholic, and your mom is a nurse.
- You have 58 cousins, and an uncle named "Tito Boy"
- You're somehow very proud about the fact that Filipinos are "ghetto"
- Balot (half-developed embryonic duck eggs) and bagoong (ass-tasting stew-like cuisine) doesn't disgust you.
- You listen to hip-hop at full volume and drive with the left hand on the steering wheel and your body angled a little to the right.
- It pisses you off that Tia Carrere and Jasmine Trias claim they're from "Hawaii" when all of the above and below applies to them.
- You have at least one aunt that drinks and smokes more than you.
- You have another aunt that has fully dyed her hair a different color.
- Your mothers friends who are not related to you magically become your "tita" and "tito"
- You have at least one brother/sister/cousin who truly believes he/she is white.
- You have another that believes he/she is black.
- When you go to "San Francisco", you're actually going to Daly City.
- You put up your knee and rest your elbow on it while you're eating.
- Your parents use certain action-verb phrases as nouns. "Mag take-a-bath ka na!"
- Your nickname is either "boy", "tutoy", or "nining".
- Your parents greet you with a loud "HOY!"
- Your mom says "bitch" instead of "beach" and "puck" instead of "fax"
- You buy a karaoke machine before you buy the TV
- You laugh when you see somebody fall, and cackle when somebody dies.
- Your way of hitting on girls is to put a not-so-smart smile on your face and repeatedly lift your eyebrows.
- Your mom confuses "she" and "he"
- You eat rice for breakfast. Always.
- You reuse disposable styrafoam cups.
- You think eggrolls are a Filipino invention called lumpia.
- When you can't think of a word, you say "kwan".
- Your last name is the same as that ghetto Mexican dude down the street.
- You resent that.
- You like to remind people that without Filipinos, there would be no Yo-Yo's.
- When your history teacher tells you Magellan was almost the first man to circumnavigate the world, you raise your hand and tell him that he didn't because a Filipino native named Lapu-Lapu whacked him on the head with a Yo-Yo.
- You're very proud of that. And so are your parents.

That's all for now. Brought to you by your token Pinoy.

Star Wars obsession:

naryantek: i thought the last saber battle was whatevs, it was the emotion that relaly carried it through
car LOCO 69: when they both use their hands to blow the other back with the force
car LOCO 69: that shit was awesome
naryantek: oh yeah that was badass
naryantek: haha
naryantek: me n you should try that sometime

This is the Star Wars gender-based cultural generation gap:

car LOCO 69: YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DESTROY THE SITH, NOT JOIN THEM!
charcoalj: what are you talking about

Hiding unwillingly in the wealth-soaked liberalness of Palo Alto, I've somehow spotted that age is this crucial entity in determining the for-granted. This really is, truly, a fucking weird city.

Read the housing section - not a house under a million dollars. Then look at the bumper stickers on the cars - all the cars are Benzes, Beamers, and Lexus' - yet they all have anti-Bush bumper stickers. Look around.

White teenage Abercrombie-donning girls talk on razor-thin Sanyo phones in one hand, the other behind the leather steering-wheel of a newly purchased 3-series convertible. Her mid-40's mom is at the tanning salon reading Hillary's "Living History", having just put in a generous donation in the mail to help starving Somalian children - her 2nd house is on the market for 3.2 million. It's a new breed of democrat: the powercrat.

Hypocrisy lies in the dichotomy between ideology and action. Justification never seems to join the former and latter. But does it always have to?

This is a response to those of you many who approach me regarding weight-loss, particularly how I managed to lose them 50 pounds so quickly. There really is no magic secret and most of what I tell you, you already pretty much know. But I'll sum it all up for all of you that are trying to lose a little pound or two. Or 50.

1) Lift weights. That is number one. Most of you (especially girls) think that they don't wanna bulk up or have no interest in looking toned; only weight loss matters. Well, the more you lift, the faster you'll burn calories when you do cardio.

2) Enjoy what you eat. This is key. If you try and starve yourself or start eating some nasty ass health food shit, it might work for awhile. But after a certain amount of time, you'll hate it and you'll quit. You'll give it up. I guarantee it. Find healthy food that you absolutely love - a lot of you think that doesn't exist. It does. You just gotta search harder for it or compromise with healthier versions of unhealthy food that you do love.

3) Don't go crazy with cardio. Do cardio, but don't go crazy with that shit. Few times a week and not so hardcore. Or else you'll just stop doing it after awhile.

4) Work out in the morning. There are too many excuses later in the day that will prevent you from working out. Plus, you burn the most amount of calories before you eat your first meal. All you gotta do is set your alarm one hour earlier than you would normally wake up every day. It's not that bad.

5) Try and think of image as a side-bonus to your health and well-being. Obviously, you wanna look good as well. Think about what's best for you and not what looks best, and the latter will naturally occur as a product of the former.

6) Stay away from mayo, oil, fried shit, chocolate, candy, and salad dressing. You don't need that shit. There are plenty other foods you can get pleasure from that don't include those things.

7) Don't rely on a special "workout friend" or special gym to work out. Be flexible. Your friend won't always have the same schedule as you. The gyms hours might not coincide with your schedule. Get used to the fact that working out sometimes has to be a solitary activity.

8) Vary what you do for cardio. Don't just do the same shit all the time. Vary it up. Run up a hill. Play basketball. Use the bike. Try the rowing machine. Whatever it is, vary it up. And up your cardio every few weeks or so, or your body will start immunizing itself to your workout.

9) If you're a beer drinker, get used to wine. If you're a hard liquor person, go easy. Beer has an immense amount of calories. So does a single shot of vodka. Wine is best.

10) Set unrealistic goals. It helps the mind and body work harder. Don't give up.