Why are Deans of schools always fat, slobby, mayonaise-sandwich eating, condescendingly ignorant pieces of fat lard shit? Do they all grow from the same farm in the hick-south?

I have had the pleasure of receiving personal disciplinary invitations from over 4 Deans now at many different institutations and slowly they are all beginning to blur in my mind. They are all the same person.

On a more confusing note, last week after the Dean kicked me out of a public dress rehearsal, a few days later, he invited me to a private reception for Emmanuel Ax. Does this make sense? Is it a trap? Am I going to walk into the reception to a swarm of Yale-security rent-a-cops?