You know you're Filipino if...

- Your parents always get the letters "P" and "F" confused. (Unportunately, Puck!)
- You point with your lips.
- You get someone's attention with a "psssst!"
- You have 5 pairs of tsinelas (sandals) located outside your front door.
- You're Catholic, and your mom is a nurse.
- You have 58 cousins, and an uncle named "Tito Boy"
- You're somehow very proud about the fact that Filipinos are "ghetto"
- Balot (half-developed embryonic duck eggs) and bagoong (ass-tasting stew-like cuisine) doesn't disgust you.
- You listen to hip-hop at full volume and drive with the left hand on the steering wheel and your body angled a little to the right.
- It pisses you off that Tia Carrere and Jasmine Trias claim they're from "Hawaii" when all of the above and below applies to them.
- You have at least one aunt that drinks and smokes more than you.
- You have another aunt that has fully dyed her hair a different color.
- Your mothers friends who are not related to you magically become your "tita" and "tito"
- You have at least one brother/sister/cousin who truly believes he/she is white.
- You have another that believes he/she is black.
- When you go to "San Francisco", you're actually going to Daly City.
- You put up your knee and rest your elbow on it while you're eating.
- Your parents use certain action-verb phrases as nouns. "Mag take-a-bath ka na!"
- Your nickname is either "boy", "tutoy", or "nining".
- Your parents greet you with a loud "HOY!"
- Your mom says "bitch" instead of "beach" and "puck" instead of "fax"
- You buy a karaoke machine before you buy the TV
- You laugh when you see somebody fall, and cackle when somebody dies.
- Your way of hitting on girls is to put a not-so-smart smile on your face and repeatedly lift your eyebrows.
- Your mom confuses "she" and "he"
- You eat rice for breakfast. Always.
- You reuse disposable styrafoam cups.
- You think eggrolls are a Filipino invention called lumpia.
- When you can't think of a word, you say "kwan".
- Your last name is the same as that ghetto Mexican dude down the street.
- You resent that.
- You like to remind people that without Filipinos, there would be no Yo-Yo's.
- When your history teacher tells you Magellan was almost the first man to circumnavigate the world, you raise your hand and tell him that he didn't because a Filipino native named Lapu-Lapu whacked him on the head with a Yo-Yo.
- You're very proud of that. And so are your parents.

That's all for now. Brought to you by your token Pinoy.